Bro huge, huge red flag. RUN. Very fast. She's basically told him(and through him you) that the way she sees it she's settled for you and isn't as into you as you are her.
That should be all you need to know don't waste your time on someone who'd drop you like a hat the second someone she likes better comes along. Be YOUR first choice not someone else's second.
I think this depends on how often something like this occurs. Does your sister stay over every month? Weekly? Daily? If it's just a couple times a year I think your husband is being unreasonable.
How does your sister act when she's over? Does she actually do stuff that warrants his reaction?
You live in your home too and should be able to have your sister visit–even if it's his day off.
It would for sure “ruin my mental peace” to know my sister is out there feeling on and off suicidal all alone.
Sometimes a loved one needs help, sometimes because of their own fault–and I don't think it's wrong to help them.
14 months is a little over a year. That’s far too short a time to be proposing, they don’t know each other that well yet. I don’t believe OP realized she didn’t want to be proposed with a series of letters and a grand puzzle, and that should worry him…
I got the hebejeebes reading this post. Yeah you're better off leaving your BF. I've never even heard of pinworms until today. Kinda reminds me of that show parasite inside me or whatever that show was called.
It's not just that your husband is so obviously infatuated with this girl, was lying to both of you but he was trying to get into that girl's pants by taking advantage of her vulnerable post break up state.
What is with these random ladies just having babies because they feel like it regardless of who the dad is?? OF COURSE, you’re going to want to now about a kid you may have, who wouldn’t??
It’s completely wild that everyone here is just acting so causal, not to mention the kid is 3! He’s not some 22 year old adult, there’s plenty of time for you to be introduced to him, so that he can at least know you exist!
I’d definitely pursue a paternity test, i hate this Reddit trend of just getting pregnant and saying FU to literally everything else. If you’re bringing a LIFE, a HUMAN, into this world, everyone involved needs to know. Who just shrugs their shoulders at only 3 MONTHS pregnant and acts like they can just substitute in a bio dad because she didn’t want to “disturb” your life.
Not to mention it’s a little weird that you were fresh out of high-school and she thought you were mature enough to impregnate her, but not mature enough to be informed of a whole CHILD!? Do your best to figure stuff out, she can’t just have your kid and alter his family history because it’s inconvenient for her.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Just give her some time. If she's still set on streaming may be a good idea for her to watch twitch and see the chats, as you said trolls and antagonizing comments aren't a rare occurrence. If she's also not used to yet If she normally plays mine craft might want to prepare her for toxicity in game chats, especially voice chat as a female if she's playing shooters or competitive games.
Ya ask him to move, you stay where you are and he can visit his kids based on court decided time for him. Make sure to document this ultimatum he has given you.
I read your comments and I would stay put. He doesn't have a plan; he's unhappy and he's doing a geographical. If he wants to leave, you can't stop him, but you should stay near your family, because you're going to need them.
I don’t think she would purposely have them if she did. I don’t even think she knows how much pearls are because she’s never been into that stuff. I found my cats ashes in a bag of old shoes that was getting donated. So feel like it went more that way and they got donated.
my issues are so involved she doesn't seem to be effective
You are self sabotaging dude. You are not too much to handle, you have to be patient and listen. This is not something that will improve overnight. Stick to your therapist. Leaving them because you think they can't handle you is a sure way to keep yourself in your current cycle.
This is what I was sensing as I was reading. Made me think she was thinking of breaking up with him and that his effort with the spa day showing love to her made her break down.
The comment is a whole package deal. Start with the most important part, asking if she would be pushing for an open relationship if she were not having a disability that impacted how often they can get sexual. If her answer is a resounding yes, by all means open the relationship and I wish her well in also having great adventures with new partners. If she is accepting this because she is mono but feels inadequate and unable to satiate her bf, then I 100% stand by my feeling that OP is about to absolutely traumatize her by leaving her alone to sleep with other people. That this did not get this close to happening until her disability degenerated further tells me it is far more likely that this is an act of a woman desperate to keep her man happy and an unbelievably terrible thing to do to somebody. So ask the first question and get the true answer, and if it is not a resounding yes please fuck other people, it excites her and she can’t wait to do it too, then move to question two. Is this a dealbreaker, and if it is act accordingly.
The comment is a whole package deal. Start with the most important part, asking if she would be pushing for an open relationship if she were not having a disability that impacted how often they can get sexual. If her answer is a resounding yes, by all means open the relationship and I wish her well in also having great adventures with new partners. If she is accepting this because she is mono but feels inadequate and unable to satiate her bf, then I 100% stand by my feeling that OP is about to absolutely traumatize her by leaving her alone to sleep with other people. That this did not get this close to happening until her disability degenerated further tells me it is far more likely that this is an act of a woman desperate to keep her man happy and an unbelievably terrible thing to do to somebody. So ask the first question and get the true answer, and if it is not a resounding yes please fuck other people, it excites her and she can’t wait to do it too, then move to question two. Is this a dealbreaker, and if it is act accordingly.
I hope you're doing therapy or at least in the process of managing them (meds?).
I would personally wait until maybe 5 years for you guys to get married. Lots of things are gonna happen in your 21-25 and many stressful factors are gonna come to play.
Yes, that was another conversation I was planning on having with him! How we keep track of how much money we put in if something happens 🙂 we’ll probably hold off for awhile, it’s just an idea that we’ve been mulling over as of now
Karma farming
Bro huge, huge red flag. RUN. Very fast. She's basically told him(and through him you) that the way she sees it she's settled for you and isn't as into you as you are her.
That should be all you need to know don't waste your time on someone who'd drop you like a hat the second someone she likes better comes along. Be YOUR first choice not someone else's second.
I think this depends on how often something like this occurs. Does your sister stay over every month? Weekly? Daily? If it's just a couple times a year I think your husband is being unreasonable.
How does your sister act when she's over? Does she actually do stuff that warrants his reaction?
You live in your home too and should be able to have your sister visit–even if it's his day off.
It would for sure “ruin my mental peace” to know my sister is out there feeling on and off suicidal all alone.
Sometimes a loved one needs help, sometimes because of their own fault–and I don't think it's wrong to help them.
I agree with you
u/MysteryBox21, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
u/WildlyProvocative, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
They need to slow down.
14 months is a little over a year. That’s far too short a time to be proposing, they don’t know each other that well yet. I don’t believe OP realized she didn’t want to be proposed with a series of letters and a grand puzzle, and that should worry him…
I got the hebejeebes reading this post. Yeah you're better off leaving your BF. I've never even heard of pinworms until today. Kinda reminds me of that show parasite inside me or whatever that show was called.
u/_lovingthealien_, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
It's not just that your husband is so obviously infatuated with this girl, was lying to both of you but he was trying to get into that girl's pants by taking advantage of her vulnerable post break up state.
Your girlfriend is being dramatic.
It’s great she gave the present some thought and she should be happy she did that.
But it’s not up to your daughter to love the gift. That’s totally subjective. You can’t control that.
What is with these random ladies just having babies because they feel like it regardless of who the dad is?? OF COURSE, you’re going to want to now about a kid you may have, who wouldn’t??
It’s completely wild that everyone here is just acting so causal, not to mention the kid is 3! He’s not some 22 year old adult, there’s plenty of time for you to be introduced to him, so that he can at least know you exist!
I’d definitely pursue a paternity test, i hate this Reddit trend of just getting pregnant and saying FU to literally everything else. If you’re bringing a LIFE, a HUMAN, into this world, everyone involved needs to know. Who just shrugs their shoulders at only 3 MONTHS pregnant and acts like they can just substitute in a bio dad because she didn’t want to “disturb” your life.
Not to mention it’s a little weird that you were fresh out of high-school and she thought you were mature enough to impregnate her, but not mature enough to be informed of a whole CHILD!? Do your best to figure stuff out, she can’t just have your kid and alter his family history because it’s inconvenient for her.
Hello /u/twosweet86,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Will do all of these things, just wanted confirmation. Thank you for your reply.
Just give her some time. If she's still set on streaming may be a good idea for her to watch twitch and see the chats, as you said trolls and antagonizing comments aren't a rare occurrence. If she's also not used to yet If she normally plays mine craft might want to prepare her for toxicity in game chats, especially voice chat as a female if she's playing shooters or competitive games.
Ya ask him to move, you stay where you are and he can visit his kids based on court decided time for him. Make sure to document this ultimatum he has given you.
I read your comments and I would stay put. He doesn't have a plan; he's unhappy and he's doing a geographical. If he wants to leave, you can't stop him, but you should stay near your family, because you're going to need them.
I don’t think she would purposely have them if she did. I don’t even think she knows how much pearls are because she’s never been into that stuff. I found my cats ashes in a bag of old shoes that was getting donated. So feel like it went more that way and they got donated.
my issues are so involved she doesn't seem to be effective
You are self sabotaging dude. You are not too much to handle, you have to be patient and listen. This is not something that will improve overnight. Stick to your therapist. Leaving them because you think they can't handle you is a sure way to keep yourself in your current cycle.
Tough call, but I'd back off and try to cut both of them out of your life. If that's not possible, I'd tell him.
This is what I was sensing as I was reading. Made me think she was thinking of breaking up with him and that his effort with the spa day showing love to her made her break down.
The comment is a whole package deal. Start with the most important part, asking if she would be pushing for an open relationship if she were not having a disability that impacted how often they can get sexual. If her answer is a resounding yes, by all means open the relationship and I wish her well in also having great adventures with new partners. If she is accepting this because she is mono but feels inadequate and unable to satiate her bf, then I 100% stand by my feeling that OP is about to absolutely traumatize her by leaving her alone to sleep with other people. That this did not get this close to happening until her disability degenerated further tells me it is far more likely that this is an act of a woman desperate to keep her man happy and an unbelievably terrible thing to do to somebody. So ask the first question and get the true answer, and if it is not a resounding yes please fuck other people, it excites her and she can’t wait to do it too, then move to question two. Is this a dealbreaker, and if it is act accordingly.
The comment is a whole package deal. Start with the most important part, asking if she would be pushing for an open relationship if she were not having a disability that impacted how often they can get sexual. If her answer is a resounding yes, by all means open the relationship and I wish her well in also having great adventures with new partners. If she is accepting this because she is mono but feels inadequate and unable to satiate her bf, then I 100% stand by my feeling that OP is about to absolutely traumatize her by leaving her alone to sleep with other people. That this did not get this close to happening until her disability degenerated further tells me it is far more likely that this is an act of a woman desperate to keep her man happy and an unbelievably terrible thing to do to somebody. So ask the first question and get the true answer, and if it is not a resounding yes please fuck other people, it excites her and she can’t wait to do it too, then move to question two. Is this a dealbreaker, and if it is act accordingly.
You have a lot of issues. A LOT.
I hope you're doing therapy or at least in the process of managing them (meds?).
I would personally wait until maybe 5 years for you guys to get married. Lots of things are gonna happen in your 21-25 and many stressful factors are gonna come to play.
Yes, that was another conversation I was planning on having with him! How we keep track of how much money we put in if something happens 🙂 we’ll probably hold off for awhile, it’s just an idea that we’ve been mulling over as of now
ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Do not do it!!