I can imagine unkind ways to raise the subject, but gaining thirty pounds in a year is unusual and concerning from a health standpoint.
In your position, I'd give her some time to calm down and then say something like “Look, I love you, I'm not saying this because of appearance, I think something might be medically wrong. Are you okay? You put on thirty pounds in a year, that's not a normal fluctuation.” and go from there.
Time for it to end for good by the sounds of it. It’s not really normal to have doubts constantly, then break up and then get back together. If the doubts have been there for so long, they will always creep in again, so it’s not fair to keep dragging her along.
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Thank you! The first comment in 100 that acknowledges that I'm just looking out for my sister. Like come on! If their mothers brought home a drug addict, violent man to sleep with, they'd be frantic!
if she wants to leave to find someone who will love her dog as much as she does, she isn’t “extreme” to realize she isn’t compatible with someone who doesn’t.
Sorry OP, but I don't have any advice for you. To everyone else reading this, when choosing a partner, you need to vet for a person's moral character. Laziness is part of this and a huge red flag. Don't partner and have babies with lazy people.
“she said I didn’t explicitly say what my boundary was as far as something like that so she had no clue I’d be upset about it.”
People keep misusing this word, “boundary”. This isn't a “boundary”, this is you being controlling. Let it go, she doesn't owe you any apology. If anything you owe her one for being an AH about an outfit you already said was not an issue. For days now? Grow up
Yeah I’m gonna be honest. There’s a high chance she remembers the night. She just knows she went further than she should have. So saying she doesn’t remember might have been an easy out. If she had a thing for you something would have happened that night. You’ve been friends for 7 years? You’re a friend. Nothing more nothing less. But the good news is there’s plenty of ladies out there just like her or even better. You just gotta move on.
I think if you aren’t 100% sure it’s a yes then it’s a no. In the most beautiful way you are a baby adult. Let yourself learn and grow into adulthood, and do that by putting yourself first. You don’t sound like this is someone you want to keep spending your one life with and I know 13 months is a lifetime at 20 but it’s really just a tiny blip of your life if you are lucky enough to get older.
ETA: It’s bothering me—he “accidentally” didn’t stop doing something where it was an emergency to you that he stop? Did he rape you?
Women lol. Always thinking the problem is an external factor smh ??♂️
I agree if she doesn’t want to tell you before hand it’s not urgent. She blind sided you once don’t let it happen again
you need to distance yourself from this woman, relationships with women who have all male friends and act like that are doomed to fail
I feel kind of sorry for OP as well. It is obvious that their youngest seriously needed help since he could not take care of him self.
They’re still banging
He's only sorry he got caught , not sorry that he tried to do it.
He also now knows he's not that good of a liar and actor, so the next time he tries this, it will probably be with hidden camera
Thank you, I will get onto doing this.
I can imagine unkind ways to raise the subject, but gaining thirty pounds in a year is unusual and concerning from a health standpoint.
In your position, I'd give her some time to calm down and then say something like “Look, I love you, I'm not saying this because of appearance, I think something might be medically wrong. Are you okay? You put on thirty pounds in a year, that's not a normal fluctuation.” and go from there.
Time for it to end for good by the sounds of it. It’s not really normal to have doubts constantly, then break up and then get back together. If the doubts have been there for so long, they will always creep in again, so it’s not fair to keep dragging her along.
It is selfish -he is choosing to be ignorant.
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Tabby please your fat and unlovable nobody is checking for you. Your not single by choice your single because nobody wants you cat woman
Thank you! The first comment in 100 that acknowledges that I'm just looking out for my sister. Like come on! If their mothers brought home a drug addict, violent man to sleep with, they'd be frantic!
no one is entitled to a relationship
if she wants to leave to find someone who will love her dog as much as she does, she isn’t “extreme” to realize she isn’t compatible with someone who doesn’t.
she’s being an adult by leaving.
Sorry OP, but I don't have any advice for you. To everyone else reading this, when choosing a partner, you need to vet for a person's moral character. Laziness is part of this and a huge red flag. Don't partner and have babies with lazy people.
“she said I didn’t explicitly say what my boundary was as far as something like that so she had no clue I’d be upset about it.”
People keep misusing this word, “boundary”. This isn't a “boundary”, this is you being controlling. Let it go, she doesn't owe you any apology. If anything you owe her one for being an AH about an outfit you already said was not an issue. For days now? Grow up
He is jealous. You're tall, young, and getting muscular. He is average, out of shape, and getting old. Some parents view their kids as competition.
Yeah I’m gonna be honest. There’s a high chance she remembers the night. She just knows she went further than she should have. So saying she doesn’t remember might have been an easy out. If she had a thing for you something would have happened that night. You’ve been friends for 7 years? You’re a friend. Nothing more nothing less. But the good news is there’s plenty of ladies out there just like her or even better. You just gotta move on.
No block and move on
You’re married to you wife, so why is keeping this friendship over your wife’s discomfort more important.
I took someone back for cheating once. He cheated again and it didn't take him very long. Lol. Don't do it.
Is she on drugs?
Honest question: Are you plain judgmental or straight up jealous because she's not having sex with you? Because it kind of sounds that way…
Girl, get a divorce. This man is trash and you're only 20.
At best he meant to send it to someone else at worst he meant to send it to your sister and see what happens
If you have to ask whether or not it’s a reason to leave, then it’s a reason to leave.
Up to you, but do you think a few weeks will change anything?
Not trying to brag i just feel like people think threesome spell doom for every relationship. Im sure theres thousands with positive experiences.
It's not like you have to get cancer once you have HPV. We aren't even sure if she has it, and even then, some types aren't as dangerous as others
I think if you aren’t 100% sure it’s a yes then it’s a no. In the most beautiful way you are a baby adult. Let yourself learn and grow into adulthood, and do that by putting yourself first. You don’t sound like this is someone you want to keep spending your one life with and I know 13 months is a lifetime at 20 but it’s really just a tiny blip of your life if you are lucky enough to get older.
ETA: It’s bothering me—he “accidentally” didn’t stop doing something where it was an emergency to you that he stop? Did he rape you?
But let's be real, the majority is the former not the latter.