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Lilian, 29 y.o.
Location: Wonderland
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Date: November 6, 2022
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You shouldn't have opened up her mail. She probably knows already what her diagnosis is and was trying to keep it from you so you could enjoy your holidays. In the off chance she didn't get a call already from her doctor about it, you need to give her the letter as soon as she gets back and then apologize for opening it. Going through this myself, the sooner she knows the better. Being left waiting is more painful than finding out, so don't make the second mistake of keeping her medical diagnosis from her.
Thatâs a disgusting and a pretty transphobic jump to make. He consented to having sex with a woman and he did.
Yeah, she probably shoulda told him sooner that she was a specific kind of woman. But she also knows how many trans woman end up beaten up or dead after that conversation from partners they trusted to tell.
Hey bro, even in the trans community, what she did is generally considered an asshole move. There's a big fear factor that goes into telling someone you're trans. Mostly on her being hurt or getting rejected. But it doesn't give her a free pass to just lie to you. Generally speaking, she lied to you and got intimate before letting you know because she knew it might be a deal breaker for some people.
You were lied to. This really isn't the way to start any relationship, so you're allowed to feel weird.
As for any advice, take some time apart and ask yourself why you feel that way. See how you feel about the relationship, knowing she lied about something pretty big.
Here's my thing, why would anyone who has transitioned, ever want to date someone who wasn't OK with dating someone who wasn't OK FROM THE GET-GO with dating someone who has transitioned? Right? And this is a very VERY major thing. Honestly, I feel like this is one of the BIG things that you disclose right at the beginning, along with religion, stance on having kids, and other major dealbreakers for you.
It's never OK to start a relationship based on a lie, hoping that you can “win them over” and that they'll be OK with it “once they get to know the real you”. Or whatever…just not OK at all. Consent always needs to be informed.
Ahahah for a 2 years old difference?
Cook dinner 3 nights a week. Make a sandwich or cereal for yourself the rest of the nights. Heâll figure it out. You are not his mommy and you are not required to feed him. You told him your issue and feelings and he told you they werenât important to him. Reconsider a long term relationship with a man that expects you to be his mother and wonât listen when you are upset.
LEAVE it my guy
If she canât control herself right in your face, sheâd be doing half the block behind your back. Whatever her problem or issue is, donât make it your problem.
I donât think she is into OP. If she were, she wouldnât have behaved like that. And âsee you aroundâ is very clear in British English.
It also doesn't matter that other women have been through worse. I've had a couple experiences where you'd likely say that about me. That's why I'm so comfortable saying this is rape and you have every right to call it rape.