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Liliya, 27 y.o.
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Date: November 3, 2022
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You're only dating 4 months and all this shit is happening. Stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
It seems like the spark was fading between you and your girlfriend before this new girl came into the picture, which is pretty normal for your age, because people change a lot in their late teens and early 20s. If your long-term relationship had been on really stong footing, I doubt the presence of this new girl could have introduced so much doubt.
Yeah, best case scenario he changed & all good.
Everything else is some variation of his problems resurfacing down the line, with you potentially sharing a mortgage, or some other high level responsibility.
Like if you do want to confront your partner, make sure to look for confirmation that they took therapy for this (and even better if they are still attending). That action shows not just a willingness to change, but the fact that there’s actually some kind of professional system in place to help really facilitate change.
But honestly, a year is not all that much – especially when compared to a whole lifetime with someone. If you do choose to stay & try to sort this out just hold onto that thought, and if a few months from now it starts to look like figuring it all out just isn’t worth the effort then it probably really isn’t.
I’m here asking for advice. It’s not going to be seen as negative. It’s not that big of a age gap. I was 19 when me and her started dating. I took some advice from the post last year but not all. I’ve gotten better with leaving her alone. There would be days were I would not talk to her all day and night. Just to try in the morning to get the same energy as the night prior.
I could’ve chosen a different title yeah, but ultimately it’s the relationship advice subreddit. I don’t think people who post here only want to break up. I posted to see if I could get advice on what to do to possibly get her back.
The living situation is rough but getting by due to side jobs and family. I start a landscaping job in the next couple of weeks.
The car is in my name because she doesn’t have her license. The insurance company told me I couldn’t put insurance on the car if it was in her name.
I hope this makes some of these things more clear.
I have friends that will clean parts of my house or do dishes if they stay for a while. I think it’s a Midwest guilt thing. Like “if I’m not paying rent I’m going to show my worth”.
I would just explain that it’s unnecessary.
Yes it is physically demanding to go to an office versus crawling out of your bedroom to your dining room table.
I am very happy not being married. If I want to give away my money I will donate it to a charity not to someone who didn’t work for it.
Yes children need discipline. Especially young boys.
Modern men and women don’t have the capacity to be married. They don’t have the capacity and ability to get married and stay married. Being in a relationship with someone for life is not easy. But I don’t see this guy rushing for the exits. My wife is non stop second guessing the way I raise my son. She wants to argue over inane things that make no difference non stop and when I come home it’s endless complaints. We pay the bills but it seems most of my goes to pay the bills and she barely contributes. I make 80% of the money in the home and she can stop working but she doesn’t want to and I can’t stop because she doesn’t make anywhere near enough for the household. I don’t see a lot of guys complain about this?