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Lil, 18 y.o.
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Date: November 2, 2022
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How do you have enough in savings today but not a few days ago after losing your job at instacart? You thought he should be prepared to provide because he makes 75k a year while you used to make 55k a year.
It's cute you're buying that line of BS.
she just found it entertaining to look through and see what dating was like these days, and had no intentions of talking to or meeting with anyone.
So why not tell you about it from the start? 3 yrs that would be something you think she would share….
Now that he already signed I dint know. My question was why couldn’t he before he signed, why did he have to extend? I just feel really bad that he excluded you from this decision
Okay, I'm going to ask you a very important question. And please try to answer as honestly as possible.
Have you ever been afraid of him when he gets mad at you?
Yes
Therapy
Guilt is not a sustainable driving force/foundation for a partnership
Not wanting to hurt her … it hurts in the jmmediate moment yes. But in the long run you are doing whats best for both of you by letting go . So you both can find more compatible lives. So if it helps you can think about it as helping her
Think of having children. Do you do what is most comfortable in the moment or in the long term? And by the way, child/childrearing differences are a big incompatibility issue
There are painful parts of the process are painful. Thats Growth
I don’t know if that’s fair. If someone’s time is mostly spent watching TikTok and “occasionally” hanging out with friends, that’s going to be really tough on an active or extroverted partner. I’m an introvert and if all my husband did was hang out on TikTok all day, I’d go mad too. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like her or that she’s a lesser person, I just get more of frustrated vibe.
He accused me of being a different poster
if he wants to be her doormat, let him.
Well, don't be stubborn when you're asking other people for a favor would be my advice. If you'll be disappointed if he flakes, but don't want to give him every opportunity to show up, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
If you're interested in a future with this guy, put your pride secondary to being a smidge vulnerable.
If you're wanting to be with someone who's as busy as you describe, the impetus of communication might fall more on you. If you aren't okay with what they're bringing to the table, getting with them isn't going to go well.
But if he can't express that it's about motivation, then do you still want to be with someone who clearly can't communicate without hurting you?
That logic is so toxic on your part..
Take it from someone with lots of experience in drug addicted people.
You can not help them, if they first don't help themselves. If she is serious about getting help to stop she should first go to a rehab, or hospital and admit herself. She then needs to follow up with meetings, and programs that will help her stay clean.
Being in a relationship while getting clean for the first year, is not recommended. She needs to use that first year to work on herself and not worry about a bf etc.
I have heard so many times from loved ones, that they needed my help to get clean, and when I tried, they pretended to do what was expected, but were still using.
You can not help her, she needs to help herself
I wouldn’t take her back. Imagine how easy it would be for her to cheat on you because someone told her too. ? she sounds exhausting. Get a better girlfriend.. she is still a child in the nursery.
What did he say when you asked him about it?
The therapist thing may just be another lie, just to deflect the blame
Well the attack was 2 months ago n we had sex last 2 weeks before the attack. None at all since.
Why are you with her? You're at massively different places in life, different priorities, different expectations. This is weird and uncomfortable age gap at 28 and a father to be with a 21yo who's still at uni living on campus.
I don’t think u are a bad person if u don’t want to raise the baby.
Hot situation all around. For everyone. But u are NOT a bad person to not stick around for the baby.
Get a therapist to work through this so u can decide what to do. Personally, I don’t know if I could do it.
There is no if ands or buts about it…it was rape. Plus he choked you. I would NOT continue this relationship whatsoever. Get out while you can, and he needs to reported for it ASAP.
A lot of ppl in society think men can’t be SA’ed and that’s just sad.
They’re not blind I’m sure they’ve noticed. Do you wanna bring it up to clear the air, or do you plan on doing something about it? What is the goal