You are worthy of love and affection and accommodation and understanding. Indeed you are.
BUT, you need a person who is right for you, and this guy isn't.
Maybe he sucks. Maybe he's weak. Maybe he just got overwhelmed and realized he isn't in a frame of mind to be a good partner to you. Maybe he realized that he cannot accommodate your particular needs. Maybe he's been dishonest about this because he's conflict avoidant, or maybe he's been specifically trying to avoid conflict with you because he's concerned about your reaction.
You don't need “closure” from him. You need to take all this to your therapist and work through it with them. You need to accept the situation as it is. And you need to work on getting yourself to a place mentally and emotionally that you're better able to choose a partner who is right for you and recognize signs that they may not be.
You don’t need sympathy, you need a rude awakening. You need to take real responsibility, and stop focusing on yourself. You done fucked around, now your about to find out.
Jfc are you so desperate to be loved that you'll take table scraps like this? Have done self respect girl- there are 4 billion men in the world, you can find one that doesn't violate your boundaries!
Because the timeframe for the rape kit has passed, a report with no proof for sexual assault would not work out in OPs favor.
Unfortunately, because she was also intoxicated both times, the defense would spin that narrative. If it even made it to court, which without any proof it most likely wouldn’t even get them arrested.
OP, stay away from these men. I hope there isn’t a next time, but if there is, go right to the hospital, and get a rape kit. The nurses and doctors have a very strict protocol for this, they’ll protect your privacy the whole time you’re there, and if you decide not to submit the kit, still get it done because you might change your mind.
Him being a cross dresser isn’t necessarily a deal breaker for me, although I do not find it attractive, but the lying and hiding is a different story.
Lol, what? Emotionally draining his partner because he said what someone else ordered looked good? You can't be serious. It was just a comment, he wasn't pouting about it and the evening wasn't ruined. Are you the gf?
Well, the very first, last and only rule is a very simple one and it's the one he's been ignoring, and you absolutely 100% shouldn't – he isn't listening to her boundaries. Honestly, if you stop when she says stop – and she stops when you say stop, that's a winning combination right there. That's how you aren't going to pull the same mistakes. 3 months isn't a long time in a relationship.
For real it takes two and I will never understand how the people who least want babies are the ones who make others pregnant! He made it but he can choose to be or not to be in that child's life. She could have chosen abortion but she didnt want it, and that is absolutely fair as well. Takes two to make it but you still should be able to decide. Same as if she didnt want it and he did she would have been in her right to terminate the pregnancy and he should have respected that.
Unless she lives in a place where it is illegal to abort it was her choice and I wont change my mind. If she lives in a place where an abortion is not possible because it is illegal then for sure he MUST take responsibility for it at a money level, giving her child support even if they separate I mean, but it would still be his choice if he doesnt want to parent the child or be in his life at all, same as she would have that choice (if she wants to parent or not) if he later decided he did want the children but she changed her mind.
Lots of other redditors have shared what she can do to get help as well so I do sincerely hope she can online this situation in a more bearable way. But yes, it takes two irresponsible people to make a baby they cant afford and one of them doesnt want to have (unless an accident happened which although rare, can absolutely occur)
Abandoning the family home will not work out well for you when the lawyers come in for the divorce. You've made your decision but it's a bad one, good luck!
“Hi guys, sorry but you are going to have to leave and take the party to his house. He didn’t tell me you were all coming over. I have work to do. Thanks”
Congrats! It is so very hot to break out of habits especially if you already experienced yourself. I wish you the best for your future and of course also your bf.
Weren’t you there?
It’s certainly possible, but if your only evidence is that he’s nervous about you using his phone, I don’t think that’s quite enough.
It could be that he’s looking up stuff about his father. He could be looking at an engagement ring or planning a big Christmas present for you.
Phones are surprisingly personal things. My husband can always use mine if needed, but I don’t particularly like when he does.
You are worthy of love and affection and accommodation and understanding. Indeed you are.
BUT, you need a person who is right for you, and this guy isn't.
Maybe he sucks. Maybe he's weak. Maybe he just got overwhelmed and realized he isn't in a frame of mind to be a good partner to you. Maybe he realized that he cannot accommodate your particular needs. Maybe he's been dishonest about this because he's conflict avoidant, or maybe he's been specifically trying to avoid conflict with you because he's concerned about your reaction.
You don't need “closure” from him. You need to take all this to your therapist and work through it with them. You need to accept the situation as it is. And you need to work on getting yourself to a place mentally and emotionally that you're better able to choose a partner who is right for you and recognize signs that they may not be.
You don’t need sympathy, you need a rude awakening. You need to take real responsibility, and stop focusing on yourself. You done fucked around, now your about to find out.
yes. i agree. maybe go thru her phone and see what’s up.
Gross. Find someone your own age
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funny how that works
Jfc are you so desperate to be loved that you'll take table scraps like this? Have done self respect girl- there are 4 billion men in the world, you can find one that doesn't violate your boundaries!
Mostly she wanted to stay away from my parents, but being only son and they are old, i have to take care of them so we had to end this.
Because the timeframe for the rape kit has passed, a report with no proof for sexual assault would not work out in OPs favor.
Unfortunately, because she was also intoxicated both times, the defense would spin that narrative. If it even made it to court, which without any proof it most likely wouldn’t even get them arrested.
OP, stay away from these men. I hope there isn’t a next time, but if there is, go right to the hospital, and get a rape kit. The nurses and doctors have a very strict protocol for this, they’ll protect your privacy the whole time you’re there, and if you decide not to submit the kit, still get it done because you might change your mind.
Why would you want to keep forgiving him when he keeps cheating?
Him being a cross dresser isn’t necessarily a deal breaker for me, although I do not find it attractive, but the lying and hiding is a different story.
Lol, what? Emotionally draining his partner because he said what someone else ordered looked good? You can't be serious. It was just a comment, he wasn't pouting about it and the evening wasn't ruined. Are you the gf?
Well, the very first, last and only rule is a very simple one and it's the one he's been ignoring, and you absolutely 100% shouldn't – he isn't listening to her boundaries. Honestly, if you stop when she says stop – and she stops when you say stop, that's a winning combination right there. That's how you aren't going to pull the same mistakes. 3 months isn't a long time in a relationship.
For real it takes two and I will never understand how the people who least want babies are the ones who make others pregnant! He made it but he can choose to be or not to be in that child's life. She could have chosen abortion but she didnt want it, and that is absolutely fair as well. Takes two to make it but you still should be able to decide. Same as if she didnt want it and he did she would have been in her right to terminate the pregnancy and he should have respected that.
Unless she lives in a place where it is illegal to abort it was her choice and I wont change my mind. If she lives in a place where an abortion is not possible because it is illegal then for sure he MUST take responsibility for it at a money level, giving her child support even if they separate I mean, but it would still be his choice if he doesnt want to parent the child or be in his life at all, same as she would have that choice (if she wants to parent or not) if he later decided he did want the children but she changed her mind.
Lots of other redditors have shared what she can do to get help as well so I do sincerely hope she can online this situation in a more bearable way. But yes, it takes two irresponsible people to make a baby they cant afford and one of them doesnt want to have (unless an accident happened which although rare, can absolutely occur)
Abandoning the family home will not work out well for you when the lawyers come in for the divorce. You've made your decision but it's a bad one, good luck!
No u didn’t lol
If nothing else this is pretty good insight into how Jane thinks of finances in a break up and how she would treat you.
“Hi guys, sorry but you are going to have to leave and take the party to his house. He didn’t tell me you were all coming over. I have work to do. Thanks”
Delete the list
Congrats! It is so very hot to break out of habits especially if you already experienced yourself. I wish you the best for your future and of course also your bf.
I didn't know it was possible to be this naïve. Of course your “best friend” is into you, and likely he has been since the day you met.
Oh you need to run. Please.
You already know. You just can’t admit it right now. Good luck.