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♥, ocean squirt♥ [746 tokens remaining]
Date: October 30, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
♥, ocean squirt♥ [746 tokens remaining]
Yeah, I definitely do not want to play the victim. I've told her I don't want her to apologize for bringing up her initial concern, I have apologized for my immature reaction out of pain and insecurity. The thing that concerns me is that even after I acknowledge and apologize for my failings she refuses to acknowledge my pain or apologize for her hostile demeanor. It just feels like she can't cut me any slack, despite the fact that I cut her a Lot of slack, due to the fact that she's had abusers play the victim hardcore. I feel like my failings are criticized harshly while I am so gentle with her failings and that leads me to wonder if she's able to internalize my love for her/reciprocate at all.
It seems like the only solution would be for me to just suck it up and not be so sensitive but I feel like I want to be allowed to be hurt as well.
That doesn’t even apply here – he wanted the baby. He chose to have unprotected sex. It’s not like the pregnancy was an accident or he wanted to prevent pregnancy and didn’t know about birth control.
He just sounds like an immature idiot to me.
Ooooof, you are definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed. And after reading this and the last post, I hope cian and your soon to be ex fall in love.
Why cant he just be curious? Without any thoughts like “lets check how faithful she is” or anything like that.
In his place i would have been just curious expecting nothing and just doing it., no deeper meaning. What does that mean?
There is nothing wrong with you. Unfortunately, your husband is massively insecure and thinks he needs to pretend to live in another time to be happy.
You have played the part of a side piece for 10 years instead of pursuing a relationship of your own. Your BIL made it clear it was only ever sex and he no longer wishes to continue the arrangement. You don’t have anymore plays here. Confessing your feelings is not going to result in you getting back with him. Go to therapy. Try to figure out why you were content being in a sexual relationship with your sister’s husband. Did you not think you deserved more? Or were you hoping he eventually left your sister for you? I suspect this was never just sex for you and you were hoping for more.
But the OP clearly took on responsibility per his previous post. So yeah, looks like you are projecting something on OP, maybe not your personal situation but at least a specific view or opinion you don't want to compromise.
I don't think this is fair and would basically leave me as an outsider.
So you want her (and her son) to be the outsider. Honestly, fuck you.
i do nit want my kids asking me why I have a different surname to them(it will break me) and I don’t think that any of the points she raised are reasonable.
Aand fuck you again, because this argument applies to her as well. She is your equal? A human being, who is about to have children??
If you honest opinion was you wanted it to be easier to pick up your kids, you would change your own surname to match rather than have her AND her current kid change their names (not to mention it is NOT fair or okay to give her child your name, someone who is of secondary relation to them and will probably traumatize them to have a complete name change so young unless they requested it).
The truth is, you are an individual joining an existing family and you knew and had the option to prepare for this. You are not going to take precedence, not at all, and it is shocking that you expect that. It is EXTREMELY reasonable to want all your kids to have the same last name, and if you see her son as part of your family, which you should, then this is the obvious decision.
It is not “my” kids it is “our” kids. Not to mention she is the one growing them? She is the one who gets handed that birth certificate because they came out of her, she literally gave birth to them. On all basis of want, you and her are completely equal standing, and most arguments you made go both ways and are therefore inane. Your only real argument is wanting to pick them up easier (just change your own name!), Whereas hers is to maintain a cohesive, simple family where the siblings are well bonded, which is extremely honorable.
Your words show that you do not see her son as your family, you do not see your partner as an equal, you do not value her role as a mother currently and in the future, and you have a false ego and pride wrapped up in your own “namesake”. If you want to not be an outsider, stop trying to make everyone else into an outside and just join them!
There’s a reason why she’s not dating someone her own age.