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FULLY NAKED [Multi Goal]
Date: October 29, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
FULLY NAKED [Multi Goal]
Exactly that. My ex bf never made comments about my weight, but he would comment on my body… your knees are fat, your arm is so soft – you got no muscles, your cheeks are funny, your hair looks odd… Things that hurt me deeply. He was overweight (6’4” and 3000 lbs) and I never said a thing about his looks – the opposite actually, I always commented on how gorgeous he was and how he turned me on (because I truly thought so), but I did encourage him to be healthier because he ate very unhealthy, and smoked and drank a lot. Also he would never want to have sex with me, so in my mind it made sense that he wasn’t attracted to me. Now my ex husband was VERY healthy and active and in 10 years never commented on my body, unless it was to give me a compliment (we broke up because of other issues). It’s a really big red flag your bf is doing that. He doesn’t appreciate you and either doesn’t have empathy (he doesn’t see how that hurts your feelings) or he doesn’t care about your feelings.
U will have a rough go the first couple of months… but isn't ur piece of mind worth that?
Of course she hated him. He wouldn’t be with her. Now she wants another shot. ??????????
Ya apply there loll
You mean our wife, she is for the streets.
I'm sorry but I heavily disagree with what most everyone is saying. Are there some issues here, definitely. But based only on what youve said, I'm having a hot time writing him off as a cheater. This just tells me they're best friends. Think if this was two women: going hiking together, getting dinner sometimes, getting gifts when they feel down, checking up when pregnant. These are all things I would do for any of my friends. The texts and lying is what concerns me. I can think of a reason or two he might have, but obviously lying is a big no no. Sounds like you need better communication overall, not like you need to call off your marriage (unless there's more you haven't said or more you find out). Try communicating more clearly about what's bothering you, what your expectations are for him as a fiance, what his feelings are, and have him communicate the same things to you. Then you'll just have to go from there
You mean EX boyfriend and EX friends right? No one should treat a loved one this way, period.
My thought here is why are you even trying to pursue a relationship with this level of mistrust in anyone you meet.
RUN!! Listen to your gut. You have a fear response for a reason. Block, delete, no contact. You are better than someone who treats you that way. You deserve kindness and respect, not anger and dismissive attitude.
No it's not…
Where did you pull that idea from?
Get out of your echo chamber. It will cause you harm elsewise.
The proof you are in one is very evident in this thread. Pretty much every single reply says its cheating.
It's possible that he's mentally unwell.
There should be a balance in every relationship, and it doesn't have to be 50/50 but across the board it should be fairly equally. You've admitted that you could help out more around the house, great on that, but the fact is she is treating you as less than her.
Your job pays less, isn't as busy and you get more free time, so hers is more important. So in order to make her happy your willing to take a job that takes a larger toll on you physically and mentally, just so make more money, even though you love your current job.
If yall are financially stable, than why not stay at a job your happy with, rather than run yourself into the ground at another, just to be miserable. I'm not even gonna get into her trying to find an extra part time job for you.
My advice re-read what your post objectively, there are a ton of red flags. If you feel your relationship is worth changing everything and potentially ending up miserable albeit with more money, than make that choice.
Yup my thoughts too. If he will abuse her pets, eventually he will abuse her, too.
Not with him.
I feel the same way. That's why I voiced it being weird to me. I do know, though, that the relationship is very surface level as far as connecting goes. He has many surface level connections with many different walks of life (but I notice it's more with women). He says they talk about “zoomer culture” like fashion, art, mindsets on dating/life, social media, movies, lingo etc. so that he can learn more about all cultures and facets of life. I dunno, maybe I'm looking too much into it and need to grow more myself but I won't lie, it kinda feels weird still to me.
Taking space to collect your thoughts to HAVE that hot adult conversation is very healthy. Whats toxic and unhealthy is expecting that conversation to come on your terms without any consideration for the other individuals shocked feelings (I’m gonna throw in immature as well). I am someone who needs space before having naked discussions or else my thoughts are jumbled and my words just aren’t communicated properly or the way I want them. Having a conversation of this magnitude with heightened feelings is a recipe for disaster. You sound combative and pretty unempathetic as is—so maybe you both need some time to take a step back and reevaluate.
We are human beings, with human emotions. Everything is not with malicious intent or logical thinking. I’m positive she was not sitting there ignoring you purposefully to be manipulative, but to instead be alone with her own thoughts. I personally think its unhealthy to rugsweep big news such as “Hey I might have a potential pre-teen” you should have said “I know this is big and shocking and I respect your emotions right now. Take as much time as you need and communicate with me when you feel ready to talk more about it” Since this is YOUR problem and life-changing news, YOU should have been the one to initiate this discussion.
This is also not a problem you attack together. This is YOUR potential child which YOU have to make decisions regarding. It was also 2 days, not 2 weeks. Cut her some slack.
OP is also nutters lol. Good try
You’re 18 have your entire life ahead of you don’t let this get in the way my friend. I dated a girl for 3 years and was abused and manipulated during that time. I dumped her when I was 18. Every time you feel bad for her remember what she put you through. Now that doesn’t mean be rude to her or put her down. Give her a call or meet somewhere and tell her it’s not going to work. Be respectful and don’t shit talk her. Be the bigger person and move onto better things. You got it man!
I have the exact same thing. I set boundaries and walk away and she calls from an unknown number and I end up talking to her again. She was physically and emotionally abusive and grew up with her dad being violent. My fault for allowing someone like that into my life I guess. But they're great at making you feel guilty.
The best thing is to find masculine male friends and level up together and have something to work towards. When you're lonely it's so much easier to go back. Good luck man
How long will the engagement last? A year, two? Or just a few weeks? I didn't know my husband that long when we got engaged but our engagement lasted two years. My parents met. 2 weeks later she moved with him to a different state. Married 6 months later. They were married for 45 years until my dad passed. You never know and it depends on the individuals.
Yes…I know it sounds weird but I’ve only had 4 sexual partners in my life. 2 of which I sss with for years unprotected. Of course I cut them all off once i met my bf but you can see why I was saying tho
She has age regression…..so yea a disability….the whole marriage felt more like taking care and rising a kid even though she’s 5 years older then me
completely agree! I was going to say their marriage most likely has some other issues.
Wait，， she said the baby nephew was an asshole???
so she knew who you were and still told you everything? i’m confused.
Oh. So you’re a big unhinged. This explains things. Respect her real mother’s wishes and the the promise you made and block the family.
My mother and my brother
No, the way that he’s acting is so unreasonable that I’m really afraid for your safety. I know that you two don’t on-line together because of your mom but do you two live together otherwise? Do you have the resources to stay somewhere else? Your mother is DYING and this dude is upset because he can’t get his dick wet. Absolutely not. I hope he chokes.
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We dont have a dishwasher and he gets annoyed at tasks that could've been done, so he does it himself. As something for me to do, I actually would love to do the dishes, he just never leaves time for me to do it and this happens to all possible chores
Raves are fun. Give it a try.
Dump. Him.
I suggest you show her this post. Hopefully she will see how much you care and that this isn't about jealousy. You aren't asking your friend to ditch him, but just making her aware that he has a darker side. She can use or not use this info. Be prepared that she and the friend group may choose not to get involved, so make it clear that that isn't your intention. The part where he was physically violent was especially worrying, so I think she needs to know. Good luck and I hope that it all works out well
What do the conversations entail?
Is he asking to be with her, is it friendly banter, is there anything inappropriate about what he’s saying?
Many people act like if a woman doesn't report SA immediately then it must've been consensual. As you say, it's much more complicated than that and she may be trying to figure out how she feels about it, or doesn't want to accuse the guy of SA.
You're gut is right, that's not normal, at all.
It means, every movie, show, ad, cover, etc will fuel her insecurity… you can't win. That's a 'her' problem she's projecting onto you. With her expectations, you might get lucky living under a rock with her for the rest of your on-line and never having contact with the outside world, because that's about as likely as you're not going to see nudity (or anything gratuitous) outside of just you two.
You aren’t wrong but this is so subject to opinion I think. A lot of people are missing the point that this is an opinion issue between OP and his partner. They’ll either agree or they won’t and no one will be wrong for it
This is him saying no. He knows how you feel. Ball is in his court. Let it be.
It is innocent until proven guilty not guilty until proven innocent
I am 100% on your side. You get to have a dad and if he’s happier now and he’s in a better relationship than that’s fantastic. You are not taking sides nor should you be told you have to.
I don't think OP and her sister are doing her mom any favors. Mom is not going to deal with loneliness, depression etc as long as she can you her daughters as crutches.
I think it might be a good time for OP to start deciding where she wants to travel. Sister can do the same, or stay in co-dependent relationship with mom.
I think the only caveat, is give your mom a bit of time to adjust and go back out there in the world.
OP you need to launch!
I would leave him and date my own age. When you were coming out of someone's uterus he was likely trying to get into sometime else's.
Right now I’m looking at him telling you you didn’t initiate enough and then that you dry up too much…that’s hurtful and selfish. Or when you brought up the lack of it happening and he just said deal with it. You have some rose tinted glasses on
NAD or mental health professional but I think you both need counselling seperately and then maybe together. This relationship sounds extremely co-dependent and you are enabling her mental issues.
She will never get better if you don't set firm boundaries and deadlines which involve her getting a job and being a productive member of society.
Please read into codependency, enabling and mental health issues. While the term originally applied to alcoholism and drug addiction it now also applied to partners of people with mental health issues who enable negative behaviours.
While you may still be happy now how will you feel in another 5 years time? Another 10? You are starting to feel some resentment or you wouldn't have made this post asking for advice. Therapy is key to you being able to set boundaries and help your partner.
?Run! Run! Run! ?And never look back. If you’re doubting the decision it’s because you have Stockholm Syndrome. She should feel guilt, shame and anxiety over the way she’s treated you for 16 years. She is abusive. Once you are free and find a health relationship you are going to see how f*cked up she is and how wrong you were to stay as long as you did. You are definitely doing the right thing by leaving. I can’t believe you stayed this long. It’s time for you to on-line, stop being manipulated and taken for granted, and focus on your own mental health and your own happiness. You’ve got this!
Part of therapy is writing things down
Yes, he is. His username is not difficult to find and it’s clear that he’s a misogynist who blames his wife for everything wrong in his life. His delusion spans multiple areas. It doesn’t help that he’s found subreddits that fuel his obsession and hatred related to women.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this, OP. You deserve happiness and you should leave him and find it. Please take measures to stay safe as suggested by others here.
I was you! I didn't imagine I would come across someone in the same situation. He was great at first. Then I spent 18 years feeling so very lonely. I'm a year out of the relief, and he is her problem now. I hear it is not all Honeymoon, but I don't care, to be honest. I have not been nearly as lonely alone. I feel freer than I have in years. I regret giving so much time to a man who was obsessed with another woman.
I'm just gonna reply simply to the title and first 2 sentences-
I would not consider it a relationship anymore if you're spending a couple hours a week at most, together. Especially if there's much more time that could be spent together and one of you doesn't think it's worth more than some video games.
Makes sense.
He doesn't connect with his son at all, and she can never leave the baby alone with him – I don't think therapy can fix that. OP, please document all the times he refuses to watch the baby, or how badly he does/ did it when he was forced to – he may insist on split custody to avoid paying child support, and you should be able to prove that that would be child endangerment.
I didn't get any questions
Completely agree, OPs perspective on the entire situation is ridiculous and unhinged
Well, you lied. She doesn’t think you’re someone she can trust. I’m not sure there’s a way to “deal with this” when the obstacle in your way is something you created.
We’ve both started full time jobs since traveling
Could it be that there's confidential stuff on the phone? I know a few people who aren't supposed to talk about their jobs to anyone.
Yeah, this is perfect. It sounds like this was truly a medical issue that wasn't her fault, and OP isn't doing her any favors by not telling her exactly how bad it was and how much it is influencing his decisions. It's not really fair to her to leave her with a partial understanding of the situation, because it doesn't give her a good chance to address the issues. It seems like OP is holding onto a lot of resentment to the point where he isn't treating his wife like a partner and has made his decision without being honest and talking through the options. Which isn't fair if she's generally a kind and reasonable person.
Like, maybe they could go to the doctor, talk about her symptoms from both of their perspectives, and get an opinion on what was going on and how treatable it might be. And they could develop very concrete plans for how they'd handle it if she treats him badly, where else she could get support, etc. If OP decides there isn't a plan that's reassuring enough that's ultimately his right, but the avoidance isn't a mature way to handle things.
Hopefully that was the final incident that made him an ex…
Yeah, there’s no way she didn’t actively know what she was doing was NOT cool. She knew that was a bad look. Yes, even in the moment. She didn’t have some kind of overwhelming, blind lust suddenly overcome all rational thinking.
Yeah, there’s no way she didn’t actively know what she was doing was NOT cool. She knew that was a bad look. Yes, even in the moment. She didn’t have some kind of overwhelming, blind lust suddenly overcome all rational thinking.
Yeah, there’s no way she didn’t actively know what she was doing was NOT cool. She knew that was a bad look. Yes, even in the moment. She didn’t have some kind of overwhelming, blind lust suddenly overcome all rational thinking.
I think those are fair thoughts for sure. And something to absolutely think about.
You sound very high maintenance
My fiancée and I have been living together for the past two years now, but for the next month she has to live away because of a program she is attending. Saying that it hasn’t been easy would be an understatement: I’ve been seriously depressed for the last week that she’s been gone and it’s caused me to go through a lot of volatile emotions.
You know what helps though?
She and I both make ourselves available so that we can have time to sit on the phone and be in each other’s company again and not feel so lonely while we’re apart.
Making yourself available is an essential part of being in a relationship, and from what you’ve shared in these comments I can gather that you rarely made yourself available throughout this relationship. Focusing on your own wants before all else is very much a single person’s mindset, so it makes sense that your ex could feel the relationship ending long before you became aware of it. He’s had his time to grieve already and now it seems like he’s ready to move on. Give yourself some time to grieve too, but at the end realize that he’ll have been long gone before you properly get to the place where you can move on. It sucks for you, but hopefully you can learn from this experience so that you don’t end up treating the next partner the same way.
She did, because she wanted to. Unless she recognised she has made a mistake you really should break up with her.
If she does tell you she regrets her actions and what, it is nice, but of course words alone, are not enough. As an overcompensation for this incident you should ask her to avoid contacting this guy even if it means being rude, making him upset, blocking him on socials. She needs to explicitly agree to do so. It is not an overreaction it is making up for her actions.
From now my petty sude will be speaking.
Something I would also consider doing is finding out how much it would cost to take uber from that place and ask her treat you to something for that much money. You know some eating out in restaurant or sth.
Point is those money should have been spent on that uber, if she agrees it was inappropriate and “regrets” doing it, destroying financial benefit from that (which was the reason of the incident) is also appropriate thing to do. After all she shouldn't be rewarded for acting this way.
That’d awful 🙁
An unbelievably refreshening opinion.
No one is obligated to stay with a partner whos body AND lifestyle radically changes. You let yourself go and you aren't the person she agreed to be with man
Load the dishes into a tub and leave them somewhere for him.
Is a dishwasher an option?
My(M) bestie is a woman. We briefly flirted with the idea of a matching tattoo. Then I came to my senses and out of respect for my wife shot down the idea. They are friends as well, but still , it's weird.
Nope right outta this thing.
I don't get people who think they should give more chances to people who hurt them. They hurt you. Either you are not ok with it or you are. If you're not ok with it, don't give them a chance and just move on. People post about “Omg this is my boundary” but when push comes to shove and the boundary is crossed, people just go back on their own word and undermine themselves.