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Date: October 27, 2022
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Google “the importance of validation in relationships” and “defensiveness in relationships” and solutions for it as this usually happens when one or both people defensive in the arguement and fail to validate each other. In general, when in conflict, each person’s feelings/perspective should be treated as just as important, not more than, not less than, but just as important. So one side shares their perspective, receives validation, then the other side shares and gets the same. After that, solutions that work for both are explored and then implemented. You want a friend and want to be a friend that looks for win/win solutions, not one who looks to win at the others expense.
Also, important to note, validation is different from agreement. If you have trouble separating the two google how to validate even when you disagree and six levels of validation to help address that issue.
They were both wearing white sweaters??? Oh no, how could they?
Yeah, and the other person wasn't being a groomzilla for suggesting the same thing (that OP shouldn't bring their problems into the couple's wedding). I agree with them that OP was already towing the line with sending the letter, but since they gave the bride a heads up and they were okay with it it's not a huge deal. But, OP doing anything further towards Bob would be causing more drama, and the bride is not a bridezilla for asking both parties to be civil on their wedding day (nor is the commenter being a groomzilla for also saying the same thing).