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Melissa, 18 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Melissa
Date: October 25, 2022
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Just leave his sorry ass
He wants your permission to cheat on you.
You need to set a clear boundary that you are in an monogamous relationship, and make sure he understands EXACTLY what you consider cheating.
Sadly, he probably has already crossed that line.
Just break up with the guy, he wants to fuck other women. What could you possibly want from him anymore?
Wtf is with using the word “let” in your title.
No one “lets” someone else talk to them inappropriately. You need to change your POV here.
SHE is not to blame for HIS inappropriate behavior or actions. The only place you can allocate blame toward her is in not blocking him or shutting him out.
You need to have a conversation about boundaries instead of thinking that your relationship is so peachy and perfect, that some rando sending her weird DMs is enough to shatter it.
Sounds to me like you have a girlfriend.. js
Whats mature about openly flirting with people infront of your bf, repeatedly?
If he really wanted to marry you he could have proposed by now. There is no expiration date on engagements. I know this is very hot but please leave him because you deserve someone who will commit.
Good god he made a fucking rape joke to you? And then he had the unmitigated gall to say you're being too sensitive? That's some messed up shit right there.
I'm old and here's a tip for you. If he makes jokes about your trauma then he will never be the right person for you. Ever. I don't even care about the other stuff except to say that you're being gaslit over your objections.
The only people I know who say that other people are too sensitive are douchebags. Not just the hose or the bag or nozzle, the entire douche apparatus.
Helped
You can't legislate desire. If it was important, he'd do it or accomodate you visiting him.
I don't know whatever happened between you to, so he's either always been emotionally distant or he's responding to something. Either way, this horse doesn't want to drink your water. It's very sad, but you should probably take the hint.
He's old and will die soon. It seems like he prefers to die alone. It's very sad, but you should probably just extend the open invitation and let the ball be in his court…even if he never picks it up.
I’m not still sleeping with him stop the misinformation please. My child I’m pregnant with now is from my husband
Germany
I didn’t want to speak for her, but I did mention ‘while I’ve made efforts to learn about and participate in her hobbies and interests, I haven’t seen that returned’. She dances and I made an effort to learn about her chosen style and go to watch her at shows, help with classes she teaches and help to organise parties. Her other main interests are reality TV and soap operas, which I never watched before her but now watch every week. Meanwhile my favourite films of all time are Lord of the Rings, and for 5 years she’s refused to watch them because she isn’t into films and doesn’t like fantasy.
Inconsequential? That he believes he belongs to a group that is naturally superior to the group you belong to?
I wonder if you’d still find that belief of his inconsequential if you had several deep conversations exploring it with him. Where does that believe lead? For example might he think that a boy’s college education is more important than a girl’s and that resources are better spent on the “smarter” kid? Does he think that women don’t “belong” in STEM or that their unequal treatment in male dominated fields is somehow justified? Does he think his female colleagues are dead weight?
In what other ways does he believe men are superior? I bet if you give him enough conversational rope, he’ll hang himself pretty quickly.
Are you an actual mother?
Updateme!
A good friend would be honest BEFORE walking away and give the person an opportunity to remedy.
If you’re already past that point then there’s no point in wasting your breath. But there’s no need to “break up” formally either. Just stop calling her or taking her calls. Stop meeting up. If she asks why, I suppose you could tell her but it’s unlikely to make a difference.
Our relationship fizzled out. It was an amicable split.
It happened because the mother of his child did something terrible and irreversible while she was temporarily mad.
Id refuse and tell the kids the truth: that they are insecure and jealous and you don’t want someone like them as your kids. That they are so blinded by jealousy they think their fathers heart is so small that he would toss them out for them. That they would rather replace their living and involved father instead of sharing him, all because they can’t have him full time.
Boo hoo. Cry me a river.
They are horrible and your wife is not helping the situation.
Idk how your with her after this incident. Or how you can stand the kids.
Their father deserves better than them. Good on them for removing themselves from him.
So, I love whales abd help others see whales. I do it because I genuinely love it.
Do I enjoy people treating me like a hero when they get to see a wild whale for the first time? Of course. But thats not remotely at all why i do it. I just genuinely believe everyone should get to see whales from shore and if I can help someone achieve that goal, I will. And I will go to extreme lengths at times.
Your cooking is the same. Your boyfriends either super insecure or a jerk that thinks kind acts are done with ulterior motives. Keep cooking for people, that's awesome!
He's very clearly not interested. Cut ties and move on.
If he apologizes and keeps doing it anyway, he doesn't plan to stop.
It's very hot for my bf to make friends for various reasons. I, on the other hand, have no problem making friends.
I don't mock him for that. I encourage him to find people who share his interests, hobbies, etc. I want him to hang out, go places, do things, connect with other people. I encourage him. When he meets someone he wants to keep up with I get excited for him. I want him to be happy, and have other sources of love and acceptance outside of me.
Your bf sounds like a complete and total AH. And please don't hand me the “But he's so sweet!” line. He is really underhanded in telling you he thinks you're a loser. That's not how sweet people act. He should be supporting you, not tearing you down.
for the past few days I've kinda been wondering if she's actually into
It's the holidays. She is probably busy with family stuff. But letting her initiate sometimes sounds like a good thing to do.
So are you saying you cheated on him and then came home, nonchalantly told him, but said “all good I like you better”
Why's there another guys after shave on you. If you were with someone else then enjoy being single I guess is the advice.
Thank you
Yep and if he says boobs then say that doesn’t count. Dig deeper big boy.
I’m allergic to tobacco and my wife of 27 years smokes. When we got married I asked her not to smoke in the house because of my allergy. And she doesn’t.
You should have a conversation about it with your husband. Explain why you don’t want to him smoking inside (breathing second hand smoke, the smell of smoke permeating the fabrics in your home, you don’t want any future kids subjected to second hand smoke, etc.) Explain that this is your home, too, and you have as much right to things in the home being the way you like as he.
Work out a compromise, like he gets one room where he can smoke inside and it’s not allowed anywhere else. But you both have to agree and keep the agreement.
Good luck.
Does it matter he doesn't love you?
Will it matter if he loves someone else?
I would like to say goodbye to her as we’ve gotten very close and have spent a lot of time together over the last couple years and she knows why her parents got divorced and I just don’t want her to think I was the one who did the same thing her mom did.
At first I thought it would be kind of fucked up for me to ruin her dad’s image in her mind, especially at her age, but now I’m thinking that he’s the one who ruined his own image. He made his choice and I’m going to let his daughter know what he did and why I won’t be around anymore
I don’t think he has a problem with her going out. He is also welcome to go. They are just different people.
Thank you, this is helpful.
Yes, i think either OP is not disclosing something that happened between them that soured the relationship pretty badly, and she decided to stay, but deep down doesn't want to stay, which creates that situation; Or she's checked out of the relationship and doesn't really care about him anymore. They are together as conveniency
Thank you, and yes its very weird but not too alarming. I know he had a thing for older women when he was younger. Also he does make me feel good and loved. He respects my boundaries and lets me initiate. The fact he also doesn’t initiate much is also making me feel this might be why though. I want to bring it up to him.
Like they say ” Why buy the cow when you can get the horse for free?”
Came here for variegatedness for the plants. Maybe a Pittosporum tobira 'Variegatedness' can be sold as a separate and more expensive cultivar
Never ask a question you don't want the answer to.
??? your wife is going to give your children an eating disorder, and I sure hope it isn't binge eating disorder bc oh my god she'd be horrible to them
Your wife needs therapy NOW, she is guaranteed to ruin your child's self image. Women's weight can fluctuates by ~5lbs when they menstrate ffs, her “5-10lbs is obese no matter what” is disgusting
How could you possibly think she is a good person???
I completely agree. I haven’t been cheated on but those thoughts come up naturally so I can imagine the sirens that would go off with a conversation like that
Cool. I would have a very nude time believing an adult woman couldn’t tell a guy is wrapping his arm around her waist, especially when she’s just wearing a t shirt.
Maybe that since her friend and this guy are in an open relationship, OPs GF has been talking to her friend about it, is getting really curious and is hoping to get with this guy. Maybe she was excited he was making a discreet move and wanted to see where it would go.
We can all theorize what happened. Maybe she wanted it, maybe she didn’t know how to tell him to stop, maybe she didn’t notice. I have my opinion on what it is based on my experience and you’re free to do the same.
Well small favors I guess
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me a third time, I might start having to question whether or not I’m going to keep letting you fool me like this. But fool me a fourth time, and I know that chances are good that I might be learning enough to not get fooled a fifth time…until you fool me that fifth time.”
There is a saying that goes like, “You don't know a person until you've lived with them.”
My brother and his friend became roommates and thought it was a good idea because they've been friends for a long time. Turns out he didn't like the way his friend lives, and not even 2 months he sought out another place.
If the police are not helping, call an attorney asap and get a cease and desist.
I don't see the problem with you sharing that because it sounds like that she made it a place that was supposed to be a safe place to share that.
You may want her to be fit and ripped and this may matter to you. And she may want you to accept her just as she is.
Personally I think it's like a short-sighted extreme. But also a lot of our wants have to do with other things. Like being fit and ripped might be something that you see on the surface level but maybe you actually are trying to get something else.
I mean part of a relationship is working through unhealthy wants and finding healthier options. You both should be looking at how to do teamwork evaluation of individual wants. But instead the counterbalance for what you want is really missing here. What does she want regarding fitness and her body?
So really I mean you kind of want to dig into the deeper reasons why you want her to get ripped. And you probably aren't even aware of your deeper reasons because they're probably subsurface level. It sounds like she wants to be satisfying enough and you want to feel more confidence in her as a partner. And you may not be thinking about it this way but it sounds a lot like being fit and ripped is evidence of her having the character qualities that matter to you. Or you may want more physical attraction but I doubt that that actually is detached from that your physical attraction it's tied up in health fitness reflects character.
But the thing is is that there's more than one road to Rome here. Whether it's you want more physical attraction, or are you want more confidence in her, there's other ways that don't have to involve getting ripped. As a team you can work on just fine-tuning the things that turn you on for instance. And the side effect of that is that you'll help her feel satisfying enough in the process. But don't tiptoe around each other perpetually dissatisfied. Commit yourself to constantly checking to see what every reaction reveals is a clue about what she needs.
Take it to an attorney first. With his advice/recommendations you can send a letter to the company stating your intent to sue them should these two people continue their employment at the company. This should strongly motivate the company to get rid of such people especially if they are using company resources to engage in their activities.
And healing, well theres respect and behaviors have improved and have gone into why these behaviors occured and healing that aspect. He doesn't do the old things and its more understanding and loving with his heart just changed really
Why do u feel so entitled to that apartment???
You don't have to prove anything to him. Just a “Because we say so and no matter what you believe: We think different and expect of you to get vaccinated to hold our child. Comply or live with your decision!”
“ARe yOu reaLLy suRprISed??” ??
You’re letting your insecurities destroy your marriage and then turning it around and accusing him?
Fair enough, thanks for the advice!
You’re letting your insecurities destroy your marriage and then turning it around and accusing him?
Ring his wife and be done with her
Yeah they’ve been on two dates. At that point I would expect the other person is still casually dating.
What if you get married and realize the problems are too great? Are your assets so much bigger than hers that it matters? Does she work? Alimony only becomes an issue if you've been married enough time and you earn significantly more. A year in, and you realize there is an issue, there likely won't be alimony. And you can get around alimony and division of assets with a pre-nup.
You know what there will be no matter what? Child support. And that will be the same now as if you get married. Not only that, but unwed there is a high likelihood she will have much more power in custody issues. Getting married now benefits you. Don't delay in that. Get married with a pre-nup and you lose nothing.
Always trust your gut.
City by-laws implies American.
With that in mind and the crime was non violent, lead to no injury and op considers it to be stupid but not horrifying.
Given all that information I'm going to go with fraud or embezzlement of a minor amount of funds. Enough that the court will want to make an example but not enough to do him like they got Capone.
Found someone who will appreciate your needs. You have tried being vocal but are being dismissed. The only difference between close friends and a girlfriend is SEX. She is getting her intimate needs filled, and you are not. But that door is a two-way street. You can stop cuddling and fulfilling her needs, and when she asks you can give her the same dismissal remarks. But honestly, that never really works.
Yeah so you know that what you did was absolutely idiotic, and you shouldn't ever do that again.
Unfortunately, it's over with you new partner. She's never going to be able to trust you again, for good reason. From her point of view you're either:
Lying to her and actually still want to be with your ex The type of person who deliberately lies and manipulates people for personal gain
You are the second type of person. You can change, but you need to be aware of what you've done.
I will try to speak with her about ending things
You should get off of reddit and hug some trees or something.
He may be interested in you, but astrological signs won’t give you much insight into that.
He’s being a hypocrite lol how does he not see that?
Don’t file taxes with him. Get out. untangle yourself and leave
It seems like this is a big decision point for both of you. If you want to be with him, you'll need to move to the US.. and to make that happen, you'll need to marry him as part of that process, because of how US Immigration works (unless you're fortunate enough to already possess American Citizenship, which you do if you have an American parent, even if you yourself have never stepped foot in that country). It's not as simple as just marrying him, though, there's paperwork involved, and certain income requirements on his part.
He's told you he's not ready for a big commitment, and this would be one. It may be that once he's employed over there, he'll realize that he wants you to be in his life, and be willing to do what it takes to make it happen. Or, perhaps he won't ever be, and perhaps you're not willing to leave your life where you are, either, in which case, this is the end of things between you both, at least in a romantic sense.
Good luck! This is a tough situation to be in.
He seems to be playing stupid games. I’d drop him.
Someone let me know when there is an update on this.
But OP, you need to sit down and talk to her. You are both adults you had a kid together, why on earth having a conversation is too nude for these people?
So get angry and confront him.
Being drunk doesn’t make it okay.
You have a true partner, OP doesn’t, that’s what your post tells me. I hope OP reloads this and they they deserve better.
I probably wouldn't have picked up the call in the first place and if I was lucid enough to pick up I would be lucid enough to comfort. Condolences for your loss
She is not a child. Don’t let your husband say that.
Why does it matter?
What the heck? I thought rough sex was just nude fast sex, as in thrusting naked? No? I guess I've been doing it wrong all this time.
There are loads of “old” people that use TikTok
Nobody fundamentally changes, unless both of you change how your approach your relationship, change the way you communicate, have clear expectations about what you expect from each other, and that you both feel you are getting a fair deal in this relationship.
If you can get all of that, there's a chance the changes will have longevity, but if they are purely as a reaction to being asked to move out and aren't accompanied by fundamental changes in how you approach your relationship, it will not last.
You both got to where you were when you were unhappy with your relationship, you both have to come to the table if you want a better way forward.
That’s a very general definition of the word heterosexual
But not a very good one when trans people are involved. Many people do have genital preferences for partners, but many don't. Lots of gay men date trans men, lots of gay women date trans women. Lots of straight people date trans people, too, whether or not the trans person has had bottom surgery and without inquiring before dating.
This man isn't into men, he's specifically into women with penises.
Why are fighting to stay with him?
That hurts. I have had issues like this with my spouse. It can be very hot to get past. I sometimes feel like I’m not important enough for him to know these very basic things about me. But I try to focus on how he reacts when I point it out. If he acts like it’s no big deal, I get upset. But a lot of times I can see the surprise on his face. I know that he didn’t intend to hurt me. That’s when I have to make a conscious decision to give him grace. It can be very nude, especially when these types of things happen over and over. I try to think about all of the little things he does know and remember about me that no one else would. For example, he knows I like to use a certain fork when I eat, so he puts it in a different drawer so the kids don’t make off with it. That’s love. Still stings, but not as bad. I hope you feel better.
Lol my brain does work in mysterious ways
I appreciate your comment. I don't understand where she was coming from either and the only way I can explain it – is a moment of panic from her. She must have thought I would have the job in the bag.
Your comparison with sex is an interesting one! You're basically saying that she doesn't really love me. What would you have done given that offer from her?
She let me use her notes app and I stumbled upon it fuck if I was a girl there would be a wildly different reaction
This is perfect ??
Bruh.
It's vital to have healthy boundaries between you and your girlfriend. Don't put her as an authorized user on your credit card. Don't hand her your checkbook. Don't co sign her auto loan. Don't buy property together.
You aren't married. Keep those financial and cyber security boundaries in place.
There's never a 'right time'. Life is always happening.
Rip the bandaid off now. Stop stringing her along
What does it matter to you what her name is. Your problem with her name is your issue not hers. Move on
You made the choice to forgive him and stay. You can't do that and then still bring it up. If you couldn't get over it then it's your responsibility to say that, and leave. Either stay and put it behind you, or let him know it was too much and you need out. But regardless of whether what he said was right or wrong, when you made up you told him basically “everything is ok” and it's not fair in that instance to bring it back up. Lets say you borrowed my car, the only thing I have of my deceased mother so there's emotional attachment present, and scratched it. I forgive you, but still bring it up all the time when you thought it was over and done with, forgiven, we made up etc etc etc. You get what I'm trying to say? You don't have to be ok with it, but don't fake it, because yes even he deserves to either be forgiven or let go, not emotionally toyed with whenever you think of what he said. Good luck.
Who suggests having your hair ripped out of your genitals as a date?
I was getting the same vibe, like all the concerns he brought forward were so quickly dismissed or defended or put in “air quotes” to seem really passive aggressive/dismissive
Young girls are more likely to be targets of sex crimes which I hate
Seems at this point she just wants content to post to reddit??♀️
Honestly if you “agree to disagree” on this you'd be complicit in her racism. This isn't an agree to disagree thing – white people absolutely CAN be racist (wtf is she on) and she IS being racist and unrepentantly so. This is something that SHOULD affect the level of respect you feel for her and it's shitty that your concern about her spouting off in public is YOU getting beat (which to be fair is immensely possible) rather than the people she would be hurting with comments that are so gross you won't even repeat them on REDDIT.
A M E N ??
And I would probably call it intimacy when asking for it.
Aftercare, specific to BDSM, is for restoring the sub's emotional health and well being after doing things that intentional bring pain, degradation and/or humiliations. For someone who isn't into kink or doing kink, if they know that much, they could take the request as implying that sex is making you feel some kind of negative way.
What you want is completely normal. Just ask for the normal thing you want.
There are people who love posting live all the time, you aren't one. I'm not one either (woman BTW) and tried dating someone who was… it didn't last.
The breakdown has to do with where you guys put your energy. She needs someone who understands and also puts energy into appearances and social media. You believe that things can be enjoyed without being posted on the internet. This is not a compatible situation long term.
Sorry dude.
You are an adult and you have the right to be in a relationship with another adult. You are not his parent and it's unhealthy for a person to take on that role for someone who is a life partner.
Tell him he has an unhealthy dependency on being an asshole & he can move tf out cuz your dogs are your babies and him moving in was a huge mistake. Never date anyone who doesn’t like your fur babies.
Shes rubbing it in your face. Ignore her.
He's starting a fight so the reason for your future breakup won't be that he met someone else and maybe cheated on you. Don't even focus on this new woman. Focus on your boyfriend treating you disrespectfully and thinking you're dumb enough to believe his lazy lies. How are you ever supposed to trust him being so far away if he's acting this shady right in your face?
you said it!
Break it off. If he can't afford rent and basic necessities then he should not be buying so much weed. If he wanted a job then he would have one. Millions of people go to jobs they hate every day because they NEED to. He is not going to get better because you allow him to get away with it. You say you've put your foot down multiple times, however the situation has stayed the same and you've still allowed him to stay. He knows this and he is taking advantage of you. He will bleed you dry and pull you down with him. Please please please take care of YOURSELF.
This.
Whilst I don't condone cheating, and depression sucks and can make you just want to do nothing. You seem like a bad husband.
2 times a week looking after your own children should not be something you resent someone for. It should be the times you cherish with your kids.
What would you do if she got a full time job out of the house?
You can try and change, but honestly. From your post, I would leave you.
Before we moved on our own he was amazing. Helped make the bed, did laundry, we would clean the car or clean the whole house on our days off to help his mother. Now all of a sudden it’s flipped. You would think with us being at our own place, you would want it clean. Of course the animals are being taken cared of, like you said-they don’t deserve the blunt of it. He’s also mentioned wanting a child, which would be just plain dumb at this point. I’ve gone as far as to tell him he has to do better or I’m out-yet here we are. I’m thinking he doesn’t believe I’ll leave.
My friend you are too naive
Even if she's in ovulation? If her period isn't until March 6, wouldn't last night and today be the fertile time?
Air all that dirty laundry
I'm sorry, nobody has family issues to the point where they can only see their SO once a month after dating for over half a year.
It sucks, but it means that you aren't a priority to her. If she really wanted to see you, she would make time. Nobody is that busy.
You were single at that time. It's not fair or realistic to expect you to wait for him to come back.
Its a religious thing for me. I laid everything out before we got married and she was okay with it. shes religious as well, but not quite to the same extent. I have no interest in it, and if it was FFM, i would only interact with my wife. Even still, shes against the FMM because she thinks that is cheating. She is also against the FFM because of the thought of me with another woman. Again, and ive made it clear to her, im not interested in any sort of threesome, and neither is she
If you break up he will very likely tell people at work about your history. Just keep that in mind.
If it’s been a year and this is how it’s been, I don’t see it being any better. I would be more inclined to say give him a shot if this was a relationship with years under the belt but not even a year yet? Nah. Go explore and find someone with their shit together. He can take this as a wake up call to work on his addiction too.
This is very mature and rational. It’s refreshing to see a post where someone isn’t grasping for ways to explain away what is obviously going on.
Everyone makes mistakes, it’s how we learn and grow. Don’t beat yourself up, just move forward.