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AnaCarrera, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 25, 2022
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Also from the UK, where I’ve been denied medical procedures because of fertility, and I think we need to take into account the social climate we’re at. Women are being imprisoned for miscarriages in the states right now, so whilst “no reputable surgeon” would do the surgery sure, I do agree, I find it hard to place blame on the young woman who is likely rather scared of her health and future should she get pregnant and not have access to abortion.
Long term contraceptives are preferable, but, being of a similar diagnosis to this particular woman, i understand that hormonal contraceptive isn’t ideal. I find it really hot to point fingers here; both entitled to do whatever they wish with their bodies, but should also be prepared for long periods without sex.
You're over your ex, but not over the betrayal and sketchiness of what he did. It will take a long time, if ever. Your new fella needs to be understanding and give you time, space and positive reinforcement
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I was being derisive with sarcastic qoutations. My point is that the person doing this usually thinks it's harmless, and it might actually not mean anything to them personally, however it is obviously harmful and means something to the person they are betraying.
100% , she doesn’t seem to be concerned about that being the case. I’ve also been married and don’t see a reason to do it again, that’s said, if my partner told me that’s what she wanted, I’m totally dedicated to her, so it’s not something I would be against. So I’m imagining the BF has a similar mindset.
I’m definitely leaning toward breaking up right now. But coming to terms with throwing 5 years down the trash will take some time.
Please don’t ever look at situations like that. What you are thinking of is called as the ‘sunk cost fallacy’ or a ‘ gambler’s fallacy’. This is a fallacy where people think that they have invested so much time, so if they stop and walk away, they may be wasting all that efforts. The problem is that it is difficult to predict the future and for all you know the future may not get better. For e.g. the gambler may never get a lucky break. Please remember, the past behavior is a good predicator of the future behavior.
You know what would be even more difficult? Breaking up after six years. It’ll be even more so, when you are married with kids and have a huge mortgage.
Right now, instead of thinking that you and her are on the same team, she’s doing all this, despite the fact that you may not have given her any reasons to think so over the last five years. Remember, girlfriend/boyfriend are auditions for the role of fiancee and fiancee is an audition for the role of a spouse. At any stage, if the partner fails the audition, it should give you a pause and time to reevaluate the relationship.
It’s possible he’s cheating but also entirely possible he’s telling the truth. He might have washed these pants 6 months ago with the wrapper in the pocket and totally forgot about it and hasn’t worn them since.
It doesn’t sound like he was trying to be secretive at all. Like if he was trying to keep something from you, he probably would’ve been more aware and tried to hide finding the wrapper from you before giving them to you. Or he would’ve given you different pants.
Plus, if he’s cheating on you and hooking up in his cozy pants that’s kinda a weird move. A condom wrapper in the jeans pockets would make me more suspicious that he hooked up with someone. A condom wrapper in the cozy pants makes me think it was someone he was seeing long term, so that was probably before your time.
I still have a box of condoms in a drawer from when I was single 6 months ago and my bf and I don’t use them. Not used condoms, but I’m just saying 6 months in is still a reasonable amount of time to have leftovers from the single days laying about. If you were 6 years into the relationship, that would be a different story. But a wrapper in a pocket from 6 months ago doesn’t immediately make me suspicious
How sure is OP that she doesn't also fart in her sleep? It's normal and by definition unconscious.
Relax, OP. Literally. Let er blow.
Continue to move on. If you keep in contact with her, she'll continue to do things like this and break your heart again and again.
Some people are pretty awful at relationships and being loyal, she's one of them, maybe she'll do better one day, but considering her excuses, maybe she won't.