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Leon&Lina, 23 y.o.
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Date: October 24, 2022
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He’s cheating.
First, no one can be the perfect partner, so don’t expect yourself to be. You (or anyone else) accepts boundaries or even flaws of their partners and that’s just what dating is: accepting the good and bad that makes the person.
Second, the only way to get what you want is to ask for it. If you expect someone to notice hints or read your mind you will just be disappointed and resentful, and this is something I have a lot of trouble with too.
Third, you can’t change anyone. You can only react to who they are, and that is defined by their actions.
So I would tell her your concerns as nicely as possible, and express how it is making you feel, and then based on her reaction you will be able to determine how she feels.
If she reacts by becoming offended, then she probably doesn’t care about you as much as you care about her. If she is apologetic, then she probably just doesn’t realize the stress it is putting on you and/or is just terrible with money and has a “don’t think about it” approach like many people.
Yeah, I was you in my early twenties. You better get in solo therapy and figure it out before you let this guy fuck your life up. Your family is right. Break up. I’m telling you this as someone who allowed ex’s to take my money, ruin my credit, steal my valuables to pawn them, and total my cars. There’s nothing this man brings to the table that is worth suffering a thief.
After many years I realized the abuse i suffered as a child combined with low self esteem made me chose horrible people bc I always made excuses for their behavior. Always, I thought if I loved them enough they could be the men I thought they were. No. Never fall in love with someone’s potential. He’s proven to be a thief. You’ll most likely never see that money again. You need to break up and tell him when he pays you back you’ll speak to him again. I don’t recommend getting back together. You’ll see real quick how important you are when you stop being a doormat. He takes because you let him. Break up. Cut his access to all your accounts and income. Tell him he has (x) amount of time to pay you back or you’ll report it to the police. Seriously do not fuck around.
We accept the love we think we deserve. You deserve more than this. Someone who loves you won’t steal from you. Someone who loves you won’t lie to you. Someone who loves you won’t hide things from you. Get out now before it gets worse.
Can you elaborate?
No
Ignore it for now. If he keeps doing things, talk to the police. He wants you to reach out to him and keep in contact.
You cannot convice your mother that any addict is going to be a good father.
She has seen enough news stories about women and children being killed. Just because it doesn't happen to every eoman with a husband on cocaine doesn't mean it can't happen to you.
For my ex it was meth and we didn't have a child together. It was hot to leave him, i still love him. But when he got out of jail he wanted his buddies. Not to hang with, not to catch up with but to get high.
He was going to love meth first above all else. I had to leave
Thanks, i guess i really just needed to hear it from someone else i suppose. I was always trying to deny it by thinking it was my paranoia but it makes sense. Its not just money either, i've been sending her gifts here and there too. I've even got a gift here i was ready to send to her, i guess i'll just post it up for sale and see how much i can get for it.
Are you sure he's not on social media? It really sounds like you're the side piece.
I'm willing to bet he has a fb account or something that he has either blocked you from or is just hiding from you.