He is gaslighting you. Hello!!!! And a man who will lie about something, especially something like this, is going to lie about anything so now you also can't trust him. He sounds like a real winner.
No, he didn't argue that it was unfair to him, he just accepted the five minute rule.
See I just wish my partner could do this. I can meet him halfway by making such a proposal, and I believe the proposal would be considered a reasonable enough compromise on both our parts as he would still get his chance to talk, just not for a super long time.
But he doesn't see it that way. He's said already that I'm being extremely unfair just by asking him to talk less and that he puts up with the things I talk about, so I should do the same out of respect for him…
I feel like he would be better off talking to a wall. The wall won't wish it was dead half an hour in ??♀️
Yeah I was wondering if he has a history of leaving out details that seem suspicious. I have a friend like this and it makes all his girlfriends crazy– like he never tells the whole truth even if there is nothing going on.
Well, other than cultural, firearms are also much less common in our homes, and the prospect of attacking two intruders without knowing if they, on the other hand, are armed, isn't usually very enticing. But of course in the heat of the moment it's hot to know how one would react.
I believe you have some bias in how you see this situation.
It is possible (though I doubt you would be willing to come to the conclusion) that we both have things to work on, but she may have her own personal issues that I cannot necessarily help. That's what a trained professional would be able to provide. A spouse is not the solution to every single problem in a person's life.
She loves me, and I her. There is no question in either of our minds. To even bring that up is such a leap from a few paragraphs that I can't believe someone would go that far this quick. Again, I think you read this with your own preconceived notions of what kind of people we are. I am seeking advice for someone to give me an outside perspective that I may not have considered.
Couples therapy will definitely help with communication. But if we do that and I still have problems finding what is keeping her in this seemingly non-stop depression, I as a husband will go crazy trying to turn over every stone to figure out what I am missing that could be bothering her. Coming to Reddit may have been a mistake, but as someone that cares for her, I am willing to put up with the responses in hopes that one gem may give me perspective on something else.
Exactly OP clearly has unresolved issues and is projecting. Here's a tip try to not make assumptions and take things at face value. Also your hurt feelings are valid bc you two have been friends for a long time. But maybe the friendship is not continuing into the future. That happens sometimes. You also don't want to force someone into making you their bridesmaid so try to let it go. For whatever reason she didn't pick you and that's it.
So … she’s right. You may not have the capacity to understand now but maybe you will in the future. You need to really understand yourself first. Once you have that try to understand who you are in situations from another perspective
Ex is for a reason
So call it shut?
He is gaslighting you. Hello!!!! And a man who will lie about something, especially something like this, is going to lie about anything so now you also can't trust him. He sounds like a real winner.
No, he didn't argue that it was unfair to him, he just accepted the five minute rule.
See I just wish my partner could do this. I can meet him halfway by making such a proposal, and I believe the proposal would be considered a reasonable enough compromise on both our parts as he would still get his chance to talk, just not for a super long time.
But he doesn't see it that way. He's said already that I'm being extremely unfair just by asking him to talk less and that he puts up with the things I talk about, so I should do the same out of respect for him…
I feel like he would be better off talking to a wall. The wall won't wish it was dead half an hour in ??♀️
Yeah I was wondering if he has a history of leaving out details that seem suspicious. I have a friend like this and it makes all his girlfriends crazy– like he never tells the whole truth even if there is nothing going on.
Well, other than cultural, firearms are also much less common in our homes, and the prospect of attacking two intruders without knowing if they, on the other hand, are armed, isn't usually very enticing. But of course in the heat of the moment it's hot to know how one would react.
Don’t dodge the question or say something dumb.
Something you’re all too familiar with…
If you took several seconds to read all of OP’s comments to other redditors you’d see that she her actions are solely discharge by her spitefulness.
I believe you have some bias in how you see this situation.
It is possible (though I doubt you would be willing to come to the conclusion) that we both have things to work on, but she may have her own personal issues that I cannot necessarily help. That's what a trained professional would be able to provide. A spouse is not the solution to every single problem in a person's life.
She loves me, and I her. There is no question in either of our minds. To even bring that up is such a leap from a few paragraphs that I can't believe someone would go that far this quick. Again, I think you read this with your own preconceived notions of what kind of people we are. I am seeking advice for someone to give me an outside perspective that I may not have considered.
Couples therapy will definitely help with communication. But if we do that and I still have problems finding what is keeping her in this seemingly non-stop depression, I as a husband will go crazy trying to turn over every stone to figure out what I am missing that could be bothering her. Coming to Reddit may have been a mistake, but as someone that cares for her, I am willing to put up with the responses in hopes that one gem may give me perspective on something else.
But you did?!
Exactly OP clearly has unresolved issues and is projecting. Here's a tip try to not make assumptions and take things at face value. Also your hurt feelings are valid bc you two have been friends for a long time. But maybe the friendship is not continuing into the future. That happens sometimes. You also don't want to force someone into making you their bridesmaid so try to let it go. For whatever reason she didn't pick you and that's it.
So … she’s right. You may not have the capacity to understand now but maybe you will in the future. You need to really understand yourself first. Once you have that try to understand who you are in situations from another perspective