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@remain = BRA OFF, OIL MY BOOBS! FIRST WEEK, still #new š #PRVT open. #newmodel #mistress #sensual #goddess #dominant #femdom #findom #submissive [500 tokens remaining]
Date: October 22, 2022
AmateurPub
Yeah so you guys muted but it's still weird that you'd have this conversation while he's on the phone? What ado ce do you want though?
Like it's over and done.. wife cut her off and it's finished.
The thing is, so many women think that a man will change out of nowhere.. The red flags you see is normaly the problems that will haunt you through the entire relationship sadly.
Tell him you want to make the ābreakā a breakup.
I am realizing I am an anomaly, but I have always remained friends with my exes in “no one is a bad guy” situations. I also am very upfront with my partners that two of my closest friends are exes in the past. There is nothing romantic going nor romantic feelings. The only difference is I bring my current partner to meet them when we get together. I think your boyfriend should have handled this better, but really it is about trust. Do you trust him.
When you found out and left, what should have happened was this: He informs AP that they can't continue their relationship (whatever that is). He tells his friends and colleagues the situation and asks them to respect that decision. He cuts contact over text and completely avoids any and all contact at work or finds a new job. He gives you complete access to his phone and emails. He doesn't go to parties or any other get togethers where AP could attend. Since friends know of the situation, it shouldn't be foreign to not invite her or for him to ask if she'll be there.
Instead, all he did was call AP and said “we need to dial it down” and other than limit contact over text, did nothing extra. They still see each other at work. They still contact each other at work. He wants to attend a party she'll be at. He's making you feel insecure and controlling.
Many people on here won't understand why you went back. I know it's nude to leave any situation, you're married and it shouldn't be this hot to change things. The reason why he's being so vague and jumping through so many hoops to keep this person around is because he wants to and he knows you'll put up with it. If I were you, I'd stay somewhere else again for a while and don't just jump back in until there is an actual change.
I would not be comfortable with him earing lunch with her. That is beyond disrespectful to you and your marriage. As far as the party? After only finding out about this a month ago? Not a chance in hell. That's not even enough time for you to fitler your through your thoughts and emotions.
Do not attend this party. Your spouse should plan something that night for the two of you. Something that bonds you together. He is being an inconsiderate ass. He should be looking for another job. Because every day that he leaves for work. You'll be thinking about the two of them together. That's a normal reaction to exposing an affair. His reactions are not normal for wanting to save a marriage. You and your marriage should be first and foremost always.
His complaints and excuses need to stop. He needs to think about you and what he did to you. It sounds like he's just waiting for you to get over it. That will never work. He needs to work towards fixing what he destroyed. And, yes, destroyed is the correct word if he's reading this.
Your name shows how difficult it will be for you to on-line you own life is she keeps being so exhausting.
Maybe your mother has suicidal thoughts, but then she would need to look for help, not making you responsible of her issues.
It is not completely uncommon. Some people are dramatic and like to make a spectacle of themselves. Your mother worries about you and wants you to be careful.
You need to ignore her words and respond to her concern. Do not give the histrionics any attention. Just say: I've got my pepper spray. See you tomorrow! Then end the conversation and move on quickly.
Bringing it up will actually reinforce the behavior. Ignore it and find ways to give her attention when she is being reasonable.
Sounds to me like you need two individual apartments, maybe on the same street, so you can have all the alone time you want. You can still meet up for relationship time.
But itās unacceptable that one introvert pushes the other introvert out of their own house for āalone timeā, when both need that.
I wouldn't say anything. He needs to be the first to reach out to you to thank you for the gift.
No problem my G
I have neighbors like this. They are swingers and it took a while for them to let it be known. But now they have asked so many people, and not the most tactfully either. Iāve never experienced something like it. I think they are getting desperate since they have never actually swung before. But now itās kinda funny and a joke between friends. When my friends come over we warn them that they may be asked.
Please, OP, do not marry this man.
I say this with respect, but I highly encourage you to get into therapy and explore why it's been so nude for you to listen to your instincts and the MANY red flags with this relationship. I say this as a recently single 30-something, I know it's scary to be alone. But god, you would be so much better off on your own than with a husband like this.
Very possible. But, again, unless I'm having some significant issues in my marriage, I'm not hopping to “Are you trying to hint at something?” from the get go and then act pissed off.
You have to tell her, honestly you probably should have told her a long time ago. You don't have to show her anything, or even describe anything but I think she deserves to know why you act and feel the way you do. She's not some one night stand, she's been your gf for two whole years. All you need to say is you were abused by your parents and left with scarring and that is why you like to keep yourself covered and if she can't accept that answer then she's probably not the girl for you.
We were all drunk and I tried speaking with him but it was like talking to q wall, that s when I got angry…
100% she thinks cheating is okay. Do a check of her phone or sit her down and talk more
Watch those tits on your own. Red flag for sure
u/spoonb0y, your GF is a nutter. Get out and don't look back.
You're 20 man, go find someone who makes you happy and cares about your well-being.
Yeah, opposite schedules aswell will really screw those things up.
Could you both get on the same schedule at work ? Things would improve a lot if you're sleepcycles were mostly aligned.
Now you wake up fresh and feeling for it and he just gets home and wants to sleep.
I'm talking about how later people say “I should have seen the signs”.
We don't because we're happy and hopeful.
Like how you're telling me I'm naive and seeing as I don't know you enough to be happy and hopeful, I'll just decide I'm not interested in your ish anymore.
Good luck.
Youāre not helping him by harassing him. He knows what you think and want. If he canāt be what you want him to be, you need to quit making his life miserable and find someone more compatible with you.
There is Nothing wrong with telling him he needs to figure out how to trust in order to be in a relationship with you.
If he refuses, well, then itās good you found out who he is now.
This cannot be real.
Yep definitely a him problem not a you problem.
I'm so happy for you and your husband š
To be honest, she sounds a little narcissistic or at the very least, self-involved. Why is she so delusional in thinking your loved ones would skip your wedding? And the groom nonetheless? It's almost like she just wanted to ruin your wedding day by having her birthday on the same day and then making a fuss.
Your mom sounds like she may need some therapy. Itās clear she has some things she needs to work on if this event caused such a cascade.
At the same time, you are an adult and need to figure out next steps. It may be sudden but legally there isnāt anything you can do. Do you have any friends or family you can stay with while you save up? Depending on where you are, some countries have cheap housing for people who canāt afford much. Does your current job pay or is that the internship?
If you arenāt getting paid anything, you need to find a job or get on unemployment/whatever social services your country/state offers asap.
Plus, idk about anyone else but I swear I'd lose the last 25lb if they just chopped all my loose skin off. I look BETTER overweight because otherwise, in my 40s, my skin just hangs in these sad folds and if I get much skinnier, my boobs look like used teabags. I'm happier curvy, I feel healthier (I have issues with getting nutrition due to intolerances & allergies) and generally it's healthier for me because I'm in recovery from an eating disorder, though because I started out obese, everyone praised me till I wasn't able to stop & got dangerously thin. So yeah, I went from “don't eat! No not like that!” to “as long as I don't go over the weight where my sciatica kicks in, I'm good”
Ja es ist abartig, das sehe ich doch auch so
Your boyfriend should be wearing condoms. Insist that he start. Birth control isnāt the sole responsibility of women. If he whines, heās too immature and irresponsible to be having sex.
Donāt have sex with men who refuse to take responsibility for their own fertility and then risk getting you pregnant for their own selfish pleasure.
Even confessing won't bring things back 100%, because now a lot of people will feel awkward around the victim. The damage is done, and unrepairable.
Your wife is jealous and threatened by a younger, more attractive female, and is projecting her insecurities on Gabby in a vindictive way because in her mind she knows she will never be young and attractive again. It's pretty darn obvious.
It's definitely not easy dating someone who's not quite on the same level as you emotionally. And it sounds like your girl is a bit behind the curve in terms of adulting and taking responsibility for her actions. But here's the thing, bro: you can't change someone else. You can only control your own actions and reactions.
So, my advice to you is to have a serious talk with her about what you need and expect in a relationship. Be honest and direct, but also be understanding and empathetic. Let her know that you care about her and want to make this work, but that you need her to step up and take responsibility for her actions and her emotional growth.
But also, remember that growth and change takes time, and it's not always easy. So, you gotta be prepared for the possibility that things might not work out. And if that's the case, you gotta be ready to walk away and find someone who's on the same page as you.
And remember, bro, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Keep your options open and don't get too caught up in this one girl. You deserve to be with someone who's on the same level as you and who you can build a strong and healthy relationship with.
I think your list of subtle signals at the bottom is enough to conclude that some thing is indeed going on. You might not know the exact nature of it, but you know how you feel about it, and thatās enough.
The solution is probably for you and your boyfriend to grow larger backbones and push back against this girl when she behaves in ways you donāt like. You donāt have to make this into a sit down argument. It could be something as simple as:
Her: Heās like my gay best friend! Him: Iām sorry, I know you donāt mean any harm, but please donāt call me that. My name is XYZ.
Yeah, itās awkward. But sheās not getting the hint. If you donāt set boundaries, sheās going to keep walking all over yours.
This should be the top comment
she earns significantly more than me and I feel pressure to progress my career to match her earnings.
she doesn't mind being the main provider in the house and neither do I.
Kinda sounds like you do mind.
IMO, if it's really isn't an issue on either side…who cares? Enough and support your wife's success.
What in the ableist shit is this? Your sister is disabled. Iām in healthcare and my boyfriend doesnāt get mad at me when I wipe men or help them use the bathroom. Itās your sister and sheās been like this her whole life. Your gf is the biggest asshole here, for her to get mad at you for caring for your sister is ridiculous. Then accuse you of having a INCESTUOUS relationship with your sister is even worse, I canāt even fathom the anger I would have.
This is a huge red flag, what if you guys have a disabled child who is a woman and you have to change her diaper. Are you committing incest there?
Of course itās notā¦itās very embarrassing and awkward
I honestly get the impression from the post and OPs comments that the OP doesn't care, they are so wrapped up in their own issues and life they have painted a perfect picture of his wife and when she doesn't fit it he sulks.
Communication is obviously key but damn the poor woman sounds like she needs a break from OP and probably kids. It's nice to see people like you understand because some of the comments are brutal and confusing.
You need therapy. Dude's a r8pist that probably has a wife. He deleted all evidence of you for a reason. Please get yourself a therapist if you can. Sorry there are so many sick fucks out there
Rip your dms
where did she say they had a healthy sexual relationship? in her eyes the relationship was great otherwise without the sex
and i doubt the feeling is mutual.
she needs to work on her attachment issues cuz aināt no way this push and pull dynamic is healthy. OP broke up with her partner because he wanted sex, thatās not a relationship with healthy communication style
iām not defending the bf either bc heās not entitled to her body but i can understand why heād have resentment built up if 9/10 times she says no. heās had to deal with this for the last 3 years
she needs therapy.
Take him to dinner/make him dinner to thank him for all the support.
Baby does not come first YOU DO .
This is the stupidest fucking reply I've ever read. Are you high? What are you talking about?
It takes a really long time to repair broken trust.
Never lie. Lying is a deal breaker for most people. And you ruined a relationship over a stupid lie because nothing was going on.
Unfortunately your ex can't trust that.
However she's being a little toxic about it.
I would call this relationship over.
Learn from it.
Grow up dad
Itās really not good that heās in the bar business and he still drinks when heās alone. The successful people I know in the business rarely drink. I havenāt had a drink in 23 years. I would consider tying your shoelaces and running. Active alcoholics destroy everything in their path. We on-line with no integrity and do harm everywhere we go. Thereās enough here that I would tell my daughter to run.
Immediately
Well have a good night
I want a wife and kids one day. I want a partner I can grow old with, I want children I can raise into good, strong people. So when my partner of many years brought it up, I wasn't opposed.
But as we got older, our problems got bigger, and she couldn't handle them well. It was always on me to fix things, and I was always coming to her rescue. For that reason I knew we weren't ready to get married. But at the same time, I loved her more than anyone else, and she loved me more than anyone has ever loved me. How could I give that up when all she needs is to mature a bit more?
So we fell into a rut of her wanting to get married and me hoping for the day she'd be ready for it.
I want a wife and kids one day. I want a partner I can grow old with, I want children I can raise into good, strong people. So when my partner of many years brought it up, I wasn't opposed.
But as we got older, our problems got bigger, and she couldn't handle them well. It was always on me to fix things, and I was always coming to her rescue. For that reason I knew we weren't ready to get married. But at the same time, I loved her more than anyone else, and she loved me more than anyone has ever loved me. How could I give that up when all she needs is to mature a bit more?
So we fell into a rut of her wanting to get married and me hoping for the day she'd be ready for it.
I want a wife and kids one day. I want a partner I can grow old with, I want children I can raise into good, strong people. So when my partner of many years brought it up, I wasn't opposed.
But as we got older, our problems got bigger, and she couldn't handle them well. It was always on me to fix things, and I was always coming to her rescue. For that reason I knew we weren't ready to get married. But at the same time, I loved her more than anyone else, and she loved me more than anyone has ever loved me. How could I give that up when all she needs is to mature a bit more?
So we fell into a rut of her wanting to get married and me hoping for the day she'd be ready for it.
I am actually shook at both this post and the comment section. Since when is it ok to talk about women this way again? I feel like I walked through a portal to the past. Instead of saying āI wish my friend would stop burdening me emotionally over and over againā, heās calling her misogynistic slurs left and rightā¦and everyone is cool with it. Gross.
So what if she sleeps around? None of his business. If his problem is that she gets hurt and doesnāt do anything differently, then he should just talk about that. Also sleeping around is not carte Blanche for people to treat you like shit. Iāve never heard a guy talk so disparagingly about a promiscuous male friend, ever.
Just incase you need another warning. I've sadly been in abusive relationships, abusive people will tell other people they've changed, they do in fact not change. They are very aware their behaviour is bad, and this is why they will try to not show it early in the relationship.
When the relationship gets to a point where the abuser thinks you will stay, is when they will show abusive signs. Often starts with mental abusive that can go unnoticed, and then working its way up.
So having been in a relationship for one year and haven't noticed the abuse, sadly means nothing.
I personally would be grateful to have found out about his past now before it happened to you too and leave.
I wouldn't even give him an opportunity to explain to be honest. Because he's already shown he downplays what happened, makes excuses and doesn't take responsibility, he will likely only try to manipulate you into staying.
As a previous victim of DV, I have already played this sort of scenario with a new partner in my head over and over and have simply told myself it isn't worth the risk. DV is very high stakes for your life, there's plenty of people out there who would never harm their partner under any circumstances.
What you do is stop dating shitty people like this.
Then they either need a forehead tattoo that says “STUPID” so everyone else can avoid accidentally “victimizing” them, or they can own their decisions like everyone else.
Idk I am not playing anything I was just curious if it was mistake and he said this,
Maybe sit him down and have a real conversation about this. Not everyone wants a huge, splashy wedding and it's pretty customary for the groom to be the one dragging his feet on a massive party. But you do need to find out if it's just the fluffery of a wedding he's not keen on. Just ask him if this will be his response to things that matter more. Plenty of guys take a dim view of weddings only to prove to be reliant partners. Others are just lazy across the board, and that's when it becomes a problem.
Yeah but if what he says is true… he lied and cheated multiple times in only 2 years… who's to say he isn't now or won't in the future.
He disrespected you and your relationship constantly and doesn't seem sorry about it.
He has no consequences and will likely do it again.
If you decide to have children, do you want them to see you like this? Your family being disrespected like this? Would you want them to be in your situation?
Do you want to see pitty looks from friends and family because they know he is cheating and you won't leave him?
You are 30. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you want to spend it with someone that has no respect for you or your relationship? Someone who doesn't love you?
heās so much more immature than you
Yeah but if what he says is true… he lied and cheated multiple times in only 2 years… who's to say he isn't now or won't in the future.
He disrespected you and your relationship constantly and doesn't seem sorry about it.
He has no consequences and will likely do it again.
If you decide to have children, do you want them to see you like this? Your family being disrespected like this? Would you want them to be in your situation?
Do you want to see pitty looks from friends and family because they know he is cheating and you won't leave him?
You are 30. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you want to spend it with someone that has no respect for you or your relationship? Someone who doesn't love you?