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  1. You shouldn't try to stop or bury your feelings. You have every right to be upset at this.

    I cannot think why she would be doing this except that she associates sexual pleasure with him. She may not be thinking about him, but he is 'there'.

    She needs to work on this immediately. You can't continue a healthy physical relationship with this happening. Your mental health will obviously suffer.

    I don't immediately reach for counselling as a recommendation, but perhaps a sexual health counselor may help. However if she's unwilling to face and deal with the underlying issues, you should look to protect yourself, even if that means leaving.

    By the way, it's always good to improve yourself, but it needn't be from a negative position. We all have to learn what pleasures our partners. Some of it can be simple, some can be a whole new world opening up, but always be secure that everyone's in the same fun-filled boat.

  2. The same thing roughly happened to me. Dated for three years, really happy healthy relationship, or so I thought. Turns out she wasn't ready to commit to someone and ended up developing feelings for a friend of hers.

    She never gave me a reason why we split, we actually had just moved states together and the second week we were there, she told me she didn't love me anymore and needed time away.

    I spent that entire year of my life trying to figure out what I did wrong and why my life I had but built with her collapsed in such a short time but people make mistakes. She gave me serious relationship trauma and I pray she never does that to anyone else but I do forgive her.

    Don't look at this happening as your fault, sure they may have been factors but the decision was hers.

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