0 views
ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Date: October 21, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Questions – how confrontational is he?
How does he deal with confrontation?
How would you have reacted if he had called or FaceTimed?
What are you feeling now, what have you felt since receiving the text, and truly would you have felt any different being told over the phone,or in person?
Would you have let him finish talking and get everything out before you said anything?
While you are able to feel how you feel, and it might have been a cowardly way to end a relationship to you, (and to a lot of people, myself included) the answers to the above give reason (not excuse) to why he did it the way he did.
As for asking him for a reason, as he has suggested staying friends (which I don’t recommend, a clean break is best, and if you both meet up in the future and decide to be friends, then all good) yes ask him for the reason.
There's many silly posts and questions, that also encourages trolls to come.
“I broke my arm, now what should I do?” Like they don't have common sense or can't think.
If this happened to me I would never be able to forget it and would always feel unstable in the relationship. Even if he apologised and took it back I would still be unsettled all the time.
Only take him back if he agrees to go to couple's counselling with you. When there, try to understand the discrepancy between why you just thought you were just 'fighting a bit more in the last few months' and he thought divorce was appropriate. Something has been going on with him in the last few months that you need to get to the bottom of and understand if there's any chance for this relationship.
It wasn't necessarily a great thing on your part to bring out the ring. Kinda twisting the knife there. Dunno if that would help your relationship if you're actually serious about revisiting it in 3 months.
BUT I think she probably needed that sort of harsh lesson if she's ever going to improve as a partner to anyone. She broke up with you for one of the saddest, dumbest reasons imaginable. For all you know she only started feeling the regret when her friends rebuked and blocked her.
If you don't have – or soon figure out a concrete idea of what you'd want to see from her in 3 months I think you should just close the door entirely instead of giving her false hope.
You've had enough warnings already so I'm just going to answer your main question. As the disabled one in my relationship I can see why she is offering this, but I can also see how she could easily get hurt in this situation. Ultimately you need to decide the rules yourselves, but here are my suggestions.
Condoms should be a must. Regular STI/STD testing should also be a must. The last thing you want to do is bring home something that could affect her. Between you you need to decide how much information she wants, does she want to know where you're going and who with for safety or would she prefer not to know anything at all? One night stands or friends with benefits? No people you already know, or pick a friend you trust? I would suggest no overnights and that you shower when you get home so she's not smelling another woman's perfume on you. Also if she calls while you're out be that because she's uncomfortable or unwell it's an immediate end to the encounter. Personally I would want it made clear you are in a relationship and just looking for sex, especially if you see someone more than once.
At the end of the day, it may not work and you need to be ready for that. She may change her mind once it's real and you've slept with others, then never be able to get past that. Like others I'm not convinced she's doing this for the right reasons, it may be worth you having a couple of sessions of couples therapy to go over this, but if you let her take the lead then you've got the best chance of it working. Just be prepared that it may cause the relationship to end at some point and consider carefully if you're willing to sacrifice the relationship with your partner for sex. I assume that as you're looking for sex outside the relationship its important to you, but is it more important that your partner?
Oh look, your insecurity is showing
Some friendships are more physical than others. Kissing is a sign of affection and love, but some people have their friendship kisses, too. I hug and kiss my best friend too, we are not gay and he is in a relationship with a woman. Our bond is simply close like that. And we, as males, are even pretty rare. But with women, I see it all the time. Both my sisters have friendships where they kiss each other and so so a lot of my friends.
fair enough, but what is he doing to work on his own issues? Does he even acknowledge that he has things to work on?
Just to clarify, I def wasnt trying to say that you should dump him and immediately get into a new relationship. Obviously after 7 yrs, you'd need some time to process, heal, and move forwards. It just seems like you're overall not very happy or fulfilled by this relationship but are instead staying with him simply bc you've been together for so long.
Something that may help clarify things for you would be to pretend that you're single and think about what your basic relationship needs would be, what would be your not-needs-but-would-be-nice traits in a partner, what would your ideal partner bring to your life/the relationship. And these are not “oh, they'd be nice and treat me with respect”, or at least, not only things like that bc those arent preferences, those are baseline, human decency things that should be everyone's requirements, like “i'd like my partner to be one of the breathing variety”. Also think about your hot “no's” and your “rather-nots”. Then compare your bf to these things and see if he measures up in a reasonable manner.
All of this and he expects you to want to have sex with him??? I’m literally begging you to reconsider this relationship
I didn't take what you said as mean or disrespectful at all, rather I felt it was (not trying to be mean or disrespectful) in my opinion a naïve view. And my ” this isn't the right way to work thru and issue, or even to break up” is referring to your ex GF's texts, not you.
Why the fuck do you want to salvage this shitty relationship so badly? He is ABUSIVE. MAKE HIM LEAVE. Divorce him.