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1. Take a week off work. Tell your wife to go visit family or something. Watch the kids like she does. Maybe at the end of the week you'll have a lot more insight into what she goes through. Maybe at the end of the week you'll really have some stuff to point out how you're doing a fairer division of labor.

   I honestly say EVERY partner of a SAHP needs to do this frequently. Most adults know what it's like to work every day, not all of them know what it is to be a SAHP. It's a lot easier to have a productive conversation when you literally know what the other side is like. Instead of saying “You're lucky to not work 9-5!!!” completely ignoring you said you work 12 hour days so that's a 9-9 job she's doing at home and a 24 hour one when you travel.

   You're working 12 hour days when you're not traveling. Yes she has help, but it sounds like a lot of the time she's on her own. A nanny 3x a week helps, as does preschool, and parents, but if you're traveling for the entire week that's still A LOT of childcare on her own. A lot.

   Not to say that you're not doing anything, but damn being a mom is hot no matter how lucky you are. And it seems like you're just not acknowledging at all that it is hard even with help.

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