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??? ???????? ???????—insta@GINNAMADISON ????????:@????????, y.o.
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Date: October 14, 2022
Good way to handle this.
Be patient and I expect you will get a contact.
I mean, you want cuddles, he wants to get back to doing his thing. Neither is wrong.
Why not talk to him, ask him something along the lines of “can we cuddle for five minutes after” or “every couple times, can we do something after”?
Will she sell it to you guys for cheap? Online locally for a while. Maybe fix up the other house. Maybe rent it out. Then, one of these years you might decide to make the move to live! there…or not.
My understanding is that godparents in the Catholic faith have to pledge to help raise the children in the Catholic faith. That's why they're called godparents. I think many priests insist on speaking with the godparents and/or requiring proof the godparents are active in the church to sign off on their inclusion. So, even if you and your husband did do a church ceremony you probably couldn't be godparents anyway unless everyone was ok with you lying including to a priest.
I would point that out to your SIL and brother. And otherwise they're just going to have to deal with their disappointment. Perhaps they have some friends in their church community who can fulfill this particular role for their children.
They do have the right to decide that they don't want you involved with their kids though so I wouldn't push on that.
tell her!!
Agree. Child support is for supporting the children. Don't make it any harder on yourself than it needs to be op
Your bf has issues that he needs to work on if you want to stay in this relationship, he brings NOTHING to the relationship, he doesn't even sound lovable so why are you in it and letting him dictate to you how things should be..I'd dip tbh, he's a straight up loser.
Sounds like you want the present first so you can ditch her after. Dickmove bro dickmove.
Iām honestly a little floored by these comments. I donāt think youāre really overreacting considering you just heard about it.
Iām gonna say this, I think you have every right to be upset at the fact HE TOLD A CHILD and he didnāt apologize or acknowledge your feelings. If he laughed about it even after you brought it up, thatās not great.
I would communicate more to him about the situation and take it from there. and the fact he tells his sexual life to a child is also something to be concerned aboutā¦
It may feel horrible to say that, but it's true. Honestly, I don't think I could stay with someone I couldn't respect. It's not exactly healthy for a relationship, or even for your own mental health. It's not like you can make him work if he really doesn't want to, and if you can't respect someone who lives that lifestyle, it might be time to start considering whether or not you really want to be in this long term.
honestly she doesn't need even that as a reminder, she named her youngest daughter after me
She never thought of it as a date. She thought it was 2 friends going out. Her offering to be DD kind of points to that. She sees you as a friend only
Go ahead get involved with someone and just take it slow and in due time you will overcome it. It just might be that it will take a caring guys love to get to overcome it.
Lol, what did you do that made her so embarrassed ?? Hahahah, your friend is a real piece of work.
I think this is a good decision. Please update us after you talk to him. Good luck.
Damn. Match made in heaven! Two weeks is the winner so far, I think. Wow!
I know you are hurting. Think it through, and make the choice thatās right for you. Let logic, not emotion win the day.
IMO, she lies easily, and your āfriendsā have no real loyalty to you. These lies wonāt be the last. Youāll never trust her again. Can you online with a partner like that?
Oh no. This made my skin crawl but I am also crying for you. No one deserves this kind of treatment and the emotional manipulation of him telling you that youāre marriage material and he isnāt sure if he is ready? I wish I could report him myself just to spare you from the pain this man has already caused you.
You know what to do. Rooting for you every step of the way.
No. It isn't working for a reason. That reason will never change.
Move on.
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True. Part of me wants to just move on and pretend I never saw it but I feel like thatās a bad idea
idk bro, sounds like you're the one in need of therapy
What in the actual fuck dude. Please do not ruin your child's life by keeping this awful woman in it.
If you're going to be shaken every time this girl greets you, don't talk to others.
you are unfair to the people in your life
you have problems in all your relationships
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Oh thatās good news. Have they apologised? Of course it bothers you because it is a huge breach and because they are your parents. When someone who loves you the most shows you they donāt trust you to make decisions in your own life, it hurts a special kind of hurt.
Youre being used… his wife most likely doesnt even know unr in the picture still…. he was in the process of divorce and it sounds to me from the outside looking in that perhaps theyve decided to work through it and he failed to mention that to u so he could continue to sneak away and have sex w u. Thats a horrible thing to do but it happens all the time. Thats why he doesn't let his son see u now, his son may say something off topic about u and then his grand scheme is over and his wife knows hes been lying to her, she wont look at you as a victim youll be the villain of the story. Do yourself a favor. No more relationship with him till his divorce is clear. Hes using you and youre letting him in hopes for a relationship that he obviously doesnt care about.
Is she being serious? I just sent my husband a picture of a slug with lashes and red lips and asked if he would still love me if I looked like that. He just laughed. Obviously I wasnāt serious.
If sheās being serious, say, āI donāt like these questions. Iām not playing.ā
Iām a pet person, so that would be a deal breaker for me.
Your BF managed to 23 years without you managing his life.
Maybe the problem here isnāt your BF, itās you and your need to āmanageā someone elseās life.
Why do the parents get a whole bedroom and bed over a man with Covid and a woman who is recovering from a C section….
I get that Norms are different due to culture… But this doesn't make ANY sense.
A lot of advice will be dismissed here solely based on a difference of cultures, and how we are believed to act toward certain people… The fact OP allowed her parents to commandeer the ONLY SEPARATE ROOM… Shows the lengths she will put up with for them, the husband never stood a chance.
He will get over this, and i hope he shares the same views about the culture surrounding your parents, because otherwise that will definitely be a point of contention… And resentment will grow, but i am straying from the post.
Extra hands are always a help, i just hope the cost is worth it!
Good luck, this is a road bump more than likely, but just keep an open line of communication with the husband…it will solve just about everything.
See a therapist. You are wrecking sex and this is going to eventually cost you this relationship. Your partner accepts your face and wants to date you regardless. They have no problem with your face. If he wanted to just look at random body parts, he would watch porn. Your face and the intimate bond between you is key to a healthy sexual relationship. You will never have a normal relationship until you get over your insecurities.
Why are you with him?
Find a bf who doesn't view women strictly as sex objects
Your first mistake was moving in with a woman you met on the rebound after only a few months being single.
I think you have to know she doesnāt care about your feelings. If she did this wouldnāt be happening. You donāt owe her more of your pain. Grieve privately and just keep the breakup short without a lot of detailing your hurt. She doesnāt care that she hurt you, or she feeds off of it. Donāt feed her any more pieces of you.
Heās unwilling to conform to what you need in a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship and has therefore made YOU miserable. Heās just DARVOing, consider this break up a lucky break
She's slow-fading you. At 4 months in, you guys are just barely in the relationship/BF-GF phase and she already needs a break? Did something happen? Did you guys fight? Why would she need any time to “clear her head” if things are going well?
Sounds like it's over, dude. I'd move on if I were you. Just say, “You know what, take all the time you need” and then move on.
To be honest, I havenāt seen any, but I will definitely look into it a little bit more in detail
Nobody in their right mind wants to do another residency. Itās a lot more work & dramatically less money.
The label doesn't really matter in my opinion.
If you want to know how you can improve in future relationships, you can ask your ex for specific behaviours that he found to be harmful to the relationship and to your connection as a couple. Then work on that moving forward.
To label yourself as “toxic” is not productive in my opinion. Self reflect on how you contributed to the relationship demise, and if you want more feedback from him on how to improve then go ahead and ask if you two are still in contact. Or just reflect on the moments where he called you toxic and think about whether that was a based accusation or something he said out of anger.
I had an ex who called me toxic when he was in fact gaslighting me and I wasn't falling for it. I was “toxic” because I stopped giving into his ridiculousness and actually held him accountable. I was toxic because I stopped being a doormat. So just be aware that depending on your relationship, some accusations may be projections.
Whatever feedback you receive, you do need to be open minded and self reflective but also keep the perspective that a person's feelings about you are not truth. They can be insights into the truth, but don't treat one person's opinion of you as fact.
I mean, honestly maybe you should break up. Can you really tell me you're happy right now.
You didn't cheat but at this point you are purposely withholding information. Just be direct tell him what happened and apologize for not being upfront. Don't apologize for the one night stand though you didn't do anything wrong when you did that.
Yeah
She wants him, obviously has his ear and is now trying to turn him against you.
Oh, and your boyfriend is a disrespectful dick to allow a drunk girl that his girlfriend clearly has an issue with sleep over
Yeah, that's what I was stuck on too. I'm sure there is something, but I can't think of it
my mother is taking about disinheriting me. My husband is very cherished by my family and friends. something that I loved and was proud of in the past but that is biting me in the ass now
No, you donāt āobviously knowā how algorithms work. Just because those videos are still showing up, it doesnāt mean he is still actively engaging with that content. He is probably being targeted because other accounts in his demographic consume that content. Case & point, Iām not someone into makeup & nails, but I get targeted with so many videos for them.
You can access porn anywhere online, in fact, when it comes down to it, you can access plenty of porn in the real world too, no internet connection required. If he wants to look at other women, he will. If he wants to watch porn, he will. If he wants to cheat, he will.
But by worrying about what he might do in the future, you are allowing your anxiety to ruin your present and it could ruin your relationship. By focusing on this, you are telling him that you donāt trust him which will undermine your relationship by building anger & resentment over time.
So, you need to let this go. Stop focusing on your worries, and feeding your anxiety. When these thoughts crop up, distract yourself. Remind yourself that he has never given you a reason to mistrust him.
Is attempted RAPE (and previous coercive sexual assault) grounds to break up??
Ummm… yes.
!remindme 10 months
Just ask him directly. If I was in this situation and my SO asked me, I wouldnāt even mention a detour. It just seems irrelevant
Sounds like heās trying to leave.
Too much information missing. What was the misunderstanding about? What was said?
Also curious ?
Ummm, youāre a bad pet owner at least in regards to the morning bathroom routine. How would you feel if you werenāt allowed to go to the bathroom until your boyfriend was done making his coffee, checking his emails, etc? A dog needs to be let out immediately in the mornings and must be played/walked daily.
A dog is a huge responsibility and requires lots of time and care. Take your boyfriendās advice and step your game up.
question- since you were living there Friday through Sunday (8 meals). Towels etc – how much money extra were you and boyfriend contributing to running apartment – now that your not there – you will save that money and s will miss it /s
Get this woman out of your life. This āfriendshipā is not compatible with your relationship. Either break up with him, or you both have to go zero contact with her. Your boyfriendās response to all of this is absurd by the way. Does he respect you or the boundaries youāve set at all? Heās not exactly working very hot to keep her crazy out of your relationship, and he has a sexual past with her!? He is choosing HER. I want you to get that. He IS choosing HER. His actions are not benign. āIām sleeping with her because it was too hot not too! I just gave up.ā Weakness. Pathetic. You deserve better.
Kids just arenāt something you can compromise on. Unless you both are 100% on board, you shouldnāt have children together.
I know multiple peopleāmen and womenāwho didnāt want kids and got talked into having them. Theyāre all good parents and they love their kids but they do not much enjoy being parents and resented the hell out of their spouse. Every one of them are divorced for one reason or another but being coerced or ultimatumād into parenthood was definitely part of it.
As for your BFā¦I think that some men like the idea of having kids but havenāt put much thought into it. They love the idea of coaching T-ball and going fishing or whatever. Theyāre not thinking about things we women have to consider like: pregnancy and childbirth and the changes to our bodies, loss of lifetime earning potential, being the one who is often the default parent organizing doctor, dentist, etc, being the one who does the lionās share of the childcare, and so on. Those guys donāt see their life changing much because they donāt intend to do anything but the fun stuff.
Kids can be terrific but theyāre not for everyone. And while you might change your mind down the road, you may not. So if youāre feeling like itās a no now, itās best to break up and date someone else who is childfree. Thereās not a lot of time to snatch up guys your age who havenāt already had a kid by choice or not. Being a step parent can be rewarding too but it comes with itās own set of challenges.
Personally, when I (44F) was your age, I just assumed Iād have kids some day but I sure didnāt want them right then. As time went on and I really put thought into it, I realized that I didnāt want kids at all. I like kids fine enough. Iām good with kids. But I pretty much raised my brothers and I knew how much work it is to do things right.
I couldnāt have the career I have or the hobbies I have or travel and move the way I have if I had children.
My partner has a son and heās a great kid. But Iām in more of a āfun auntā role and his dad does the parenting. He, by the way, is one of the people I know who was told āwe are having a baby or Iām filing for divorceā. Heās a great dad but he didnāt want to be one.
Many of my friends are child free as well. Most of them actually work with kids in some capacity as teachers, therapists, coaches, etc. itās not always about hating kids, sometimes itās just about knowing yourself and wanting to spend your energy in other ways.
Why would someone want to come up with a fake video of your girlfriend having group sex with some guys? Where would they get even a blurry video?
Sifting through porn to find someone who could pass would be a lot of work.
Do some dimensional analysis on the video. Compare your girlfriend's height and another dimension such as head diameter or lower leg length to a known dimension in the video (find something in the video whose size can be calculated).
If the blurry girl with the same color hair as your girlfriend also has the same height, femur length, and head diameter, its probably her. If she is substantially taller or shorter, its not.
You've been with her for 7 years dude… Learn to take no for a complete answer. If she wants to try, then let her. But don't force it on her. Make sure she knows you love her body just the way it is. “I love your fuzz”, “I love pleasing you, it means a lot to me”, “I like eating you out so much” etc. Make sure you're not lying, and don't compliment her just to try and do what you want.
She already knows you don't care about her pubes/cycle. But she does. Give her time to decide if she wants to or not
Get out before he āaccidentallyā remarries his ex-wife and āforgetsā to tell you.
Doesnāt sound like heās been prioritizing you in any sense of the word so far.
Alright then, different question.
Why are you willingly putting yourself beside someone who is “very aggressive,” and is horrible when drunk too? You're 6 months into a relationship and already trying to minimize something that's MASSIVELY bad news to everyone else that hears it.
This is like one of those pitbull stories. “Sure, the dog was always growling, and hyper aggressive, and occasionally directed that behaviour towards me. But i never thought he'd, like, actually attack me at all! He's just misunderstood!”
Have you talked to him about it? 4 months is still pretty new and thatās also the time you learn to communicate. Do you know if heās comfortable with seeing you once a week or doesnāt want to push for more?
If you're looking for a sign, here it is ?
I bet it feels GREAT!! I am petty and I'd unblock him just for a bit once I found a better partner, just to rub it in xD
Iām surprised that a couple people have tuned in on the family aspect. I guess itās a reoccurring element? Yes, my father was abusive and my childhood was not super happy.
I think a part of me thinks, āheās not physically hurting me so itās not bad.ā
What?
Why is this third person even voting? He can have an opinion, but…whatever.
You don't do anything, and stop worrying about handling everyone else's feelings. Also – you say you want your bf to give you the gift he originally planned to because 'thatās what he really wants to get me'.
What do YOU want? And I'm not just talking about the gift here, OP.
Are you sure youāre 29? This feels like something a a high schooler would be experiencing. Itās been a week, she shouldnāt be your āgirlfriendā yet. She shouldnāt expect so much if you to this extreme.
Pump the breaks.