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????????.???/?????_???????, 28 y.o.
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Date: September 20, 2022
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We got married when I was 18 and he was 21. We had ups and down and we grew together in a the right ways. This summer we had our 26th anniversary and have never been happier. We are best friends. It worked for us, we even had one kid before marriage and a second on the way during the wedding. Divorce was considered once and once only, but DAMN did he pick it up and make the changes I needed to see. I’m glad I stayed.
Well if she doesn't unalive you before you get an answer I'm really curious and would personally appreciate an update.
Seriously though this is odd, I think you should talk to her about it.
No no I thought op was watching extreme illegal porn and I thought it started with vanilla porn I was 100% wrong tho. you can definitely indulge in porn from time to time without it being detrimental to your health. Just like you can alcohol. Moderation is key I assumed wrongly though and I apologize
That's what I thought ??♀️
Can we not just give advise without making unfounded assumptions? How do you know that's the reason he's dating OP? C'mon…
Wow. Do you even need to ask? Do you want to be with a rapist? Go to therapy.
She wants be taken care of, it sounds like you may not have compatible values if you want someone to be more of an equal partner.
Exactly!
“Pregnant person’s body” so a women’s body..because only women can get pregnant. Men cannot. But that baby is still half of his dna and half of her dna. So IMO Father’s should get a choice as well.
It’s crazy that women can keep or abort a child regardless of the fathers wishes but a man can’t opt out of child support if he doesn’t want a kid but she keeps it is all I’m saying lol
So, his position is that this is his basic nature, and he lacks sufficient self-control to prevent himself from lashing out at you, who should be his most cherished partner? And that when it happens again, you have to forgive him?
He’s literally telling you that he’s not interested in improving this aspect of himself, and you have to forgive him.
Things he’s not saying: anything that implies remorse for his actions.
You don’t have to forgive him for anything. And you don’t have to accept a partner who behaves like that towards you.
I know you’re reading this and thinking to yourself “oh, it doesn’t happen that often, and I want to give him the chance to improve himself”, but things are likely to get worse before they improve.
Time to let this guy go. You can’t fix him by being present. Buy maybe, just maybe, your absence can be the catalyst he needs for him to want to change.
So, if I understand they are not related at all and probably didn’t grow up together at all since you are 23 and half-brother is 21.
Even if they were dating I don’t really see the issue here expect it’s weird to you, and maybe to your parents and their parents. But not really their problem right?
If he didn't wash his face in the sink but took daily showers that included cleaning his hair and face I'd say its not a big issue. But since he only washes his face/hair ONCE a week I would definitely say thats a bit extreme, even as a guy. I only wash my eyes and teeth in the morning but always take a full body shower at night… so I don't think you're overstepping. I had an ex that demanded I wash my hands for 2 straight minutes (120 seconds) constantly… now THAT is overstepping
I get what you're saying and I agree to an extent. The issue isn't only “does OP want to be married more than they want to stay with him”. The way I see things, the issue is OP's boyfriend is not communicating with her, downright lying and springing her along for years. The question is “does OP wants to be with a partner that has no care, consideration or respect for her?”
OP, you seem to have communicated your needs and wants. Your mother is sick, you want her to be able to experience your wedding day, which is also something you've made clear you want from the get go. With your words and actions. Which cannot be said about him.
Personally I think ultimatums in this case are harmful and downright pointless. I feel you are falling for the sunken cost falacy. Instead, maybe think long and hot on what you want from your future, as well as what you want from a partner. I'm sure you'll realise it's not this.
I am telling you this as someone who married her partner on our 12 year anniversary. That was because we met young, and we had specific priorities and plans in place. But it was always in plan. I was actually the one to propose. And I had the confidence to do that because I knew he wanted that as much as I did. And I knew right, because I don't remember ever seeing him so happy and excited than when I asked him to marry me. And that is what I wish for you too!
Ask someone else to come with you like a friend or a housemate etc if no one from your family will come. Congratulations OP, go celebrate your graduation!!
Of all the fake things this is the fakest