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❤️Bia? and ?Adam?, 24 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms ❤️Bia? and ?Adam?
Date: October 31, 2022
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UpdateMe!
Nice! Being loving and giving love feel good.
Does she want to marry, kids, sex frequency after having a baby, is she too attached to her family, body count, why previous relationships ended.
I think you need to start taking her up on any offers to look at her phone.
Look carefully
Alot of time people don't confront things because they don't want to know the truth
You need to want the truth no matter what
Then you will find the truth
A great deal of religious people predicate sex on whether or not you’ve put a ring on it. Are people who want to wait to have sex until marriage toxic? Because they consider that a “wife/husband level service” that you can’t have while subscribed to the “girlfriend/boyfriend plan?”
I mean the bottom line is that if the boyfriend doesn’t want to deal with what she doesn’t want done to her body until marriage, then he’s free to leave and find someone with boundaries that he vibes with better.
my ex boyfriend is like your boyfriend, he still has all my nudes and videos he took of me/us and tells me he watches them all the time, despite having a new girlfriend. not saying this is your case exactly but he and i do still hook up on occasion, so just be wary cause if hes still looking at her like that he at the very least desires her in ways he shouldn’t
Take charge and dump him if you know it's coming. Life is too short to be unhappy.
How many times do you need to post here before you take the advise given to you and stop trying to make a shitty relationship with a shitty person work out? Please just let him go. There is no point in trying to salvage this.
I just feel bad because she's so lonely
Don't be a chump. She's calling you a monster for your very, very legit feelings. And her feelings for her ex…on one hand it's good that she told you that but on the other hand it means you are not right for her. Let her find another emotional pillow.
Good on you mate?
ik what projecting means but idk what u mean by it in this situation ?
We'll soon find out hahah
So why are you still with him again?
How? It’s not bad enough to leave nor is it good enough to stay…
I am going to say if you want to remain with your girlfriend then you give up this fantasy unless your girlfriend brings it up first. Do not initiate that conversation. That is her best friend, you just do not go there.
I am going to say if you want to remain with your girlfriend then you give up this fantasy unless your girlfriend brings it up first. Do not initiate that conversation. That is her best friend, you just do not go there.
just ignorance, totally fine
Exactly this! When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
It’s just a job. Not a career. Get a new job if there’s a problem with her being your boss. But since I assume she’s just your supervisor and not the big boss (dentist), I wouldn’t worry about it
You proposed to a terrible person that takes advantage of you and are upset it's over? Get some self respect dude.
Not that you shouldn’t be entitled to your own opinions, but honestly it isn’t your concern. Probably consider getting yourself a hobby that doesn’t include fixating on other peoples personal affairs.
I understand that your values may clash, if it’s too icky for you then you should probably just distance yourself and mind your own damn business. The only time you should ever get involved in a hood friend’s personal life is when you know that they’re going through some tough shit and need support. They don’t need you to police their behaviour and you shouldn’t feel like you need to either. Kinda gross
This is a hard truth, the dog needs out of that environment.
If you can't house the dog somewhere safe with you where it can begin to recover you need to find another solution. If it comes down to it you can work to find a trusted resource in the area to rehome the dog. I'm very sorry you've been put in this situation by people you should be able to trust but clearly there are some pretty massive mental health issues going on if that is how your sister treats an animal not only when people are not looking but also in your presence… the audacity is honestly stifling. I'm not sure I'd be able to control my reaction if I were in your shoes. You need to find a way to separate the dog from this person. All the best, I hope you're able to find a solution that allows you to keep yourself and the doggo safe.
Also, I'd go no contact with my sibling so fast if they did this to my dog. Disgraceful.
You do need to nag him and set hard boundaries. If theyare violated you're done.
Personally, I'd end this relationship. You just need to go read some of the stuff on r/personalfinance. Something is going on with their money and you need to be far away from that family.
She clearly wants your bf and wasn’t afraid to shoot her shot literally in front of you. She doesn’t like that he is hard and with you. She knows you are insecure about your body and made a very fucked up and pointed statement by saying “look at my perfect boobs”. Seriously she beyond sucks. Also you embarrassed her? Hell no, she is being manipulative as hell. It’s her way to avoid accountability and her hope is for you to look the other way. It doesn’t matter how long you have been friends for she crossed a very serious line. I don’t think there is any way to come back from this. She literally tried stealing your boyfriend in front of you. Some fucking friend
she has shown you that her celebrity crush is more important then your feelings and boundaries. Also sounds a bit obsessive on her part with the extent she is going to prove she is normal on this, making a fan page is fine but she has a full blown obsession with this guy, whats next she says its ok to sleep with him because hes a celebrity? just because hes a “celebrity” doesnt mean she gets to act single with him or go over the top about him, she still needs to be respectful towards you and your engagement
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He's talking up a line to u. He doesn't want the label bc then he can't use the “were not officially dating” line when he gets caught cheating.
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She belongs to the streets my friend. Confronting a lier won't help anything, you know what happened.
you have no idea how i appreciated this comment. yes, my feelings were everywhere today and one of the main reasons was not because of them, it was because for first time in years i saw myself strong again and capable of doing anything for my safety and my well-being. seeing on my feet today, ready to hit back, was quite a shock for me. after all, i realized that i was really healing. many thanks. i think i will never stop thanking all the people who wrote to me telling me that i should be proud or that they feel proud. you all warmed my heart. ?
Why on earth do you just allow him to weaponize incompetence at the expense of your feelings? I hope you get better someday.
Look- mine joked with me during pregnancy about a husband stitch (after I explained what it was), but that was a private joke between the two of us, and that is how our personalities are. Id have been mortified and feeling disrespected had he of said it to a doctor, and then continued to pressure for sex! You’ve just had a baby, your body is still recovering and all he can think about is getting his Willy wet!!
I guess I get it but I don’t think most people actually SEE it. Like it might be something everyone knows people do but you don’t actually see the evidence of it and I think that’s what’s tripping me. Like if I never knew I couldn’t think about it. Now I know
Some bells can’t be unrung. This is one of them.
If you take him back after this, he’ll just threaten to divorce you during every fight.
Go see a lawyer. File for divorce. Have him served. It’s over. There is no coming back from this.
Lost cause. They should have seperated years ago.
I don't think OP has that type of self respect based off her comments. Trying to blame the woman instead off the cheater, not cutting of contact, still trying to convince herself there's any reason to figure anything out when her bf is just a piece of sh#t…
Thank you very much man. I really appreciate you. I grew up in a conservative family so it is not easy for me. I was thinking of marrying this girl directly or I wouldn't even be trying to talk to a girl. it burns me.
Never do or feel forced to do something you are not comfortable doing.
He called one of the sweetest people I know a dumbass/awkward/retard
Well there's your smoking gun. Dude went full r-word here, I don't think you need to question the next move you should make. It'll hurt less if he's not in your life.
Hahah thank you!! My concerns were the biggest around the bedroom, since you know, that’s the biggest indicator of attraction. Sometimes I feel like it’s done just to please me, or if it’s something that has to be done? I suppose?
So you have already gotten enough comments about him grooming you, and I agree.
But I also see that you are really pushing back because you love him/he loves you, so let me just say this.
You are 21, you have a whole life ahead of you, and this guy isn't it for you.
He doesn't want you to be successful at your job, which you are passionate about. He has actually killed your joy for something you love, and that means he isn't the right person for you. He wants to come first, no matter what, and that isn't healthy. A healthy relationship means you don't have to put other people on the “back burner” you can do things together and separately and it isn't a fight. You aren't sexually attracted to him because you view him as a “parent.” You need to realize you can't change how you feel about him and you shouldn't force yourself to have sex with someone. He plays games and admits it. He broke up with you on Christmas to intentionally ruin your holiday and expected you to come back to him. That isn't healthy, it is manipulative, and you deserve better than that.
This relationship just isn't working. So stay broken up. Trust me, you are young, you have your whole life and it is better for you to have new relationships and learn what is healthy, because this isn't it. Imagine your whole life like this- with a man who controls you, makes you sad about your job, pushes away all your friends, won't let you spend time with family, and who you don't even want to have sex with.
Get out now, while you are safe with your mom, and trust me in 6 months, you will realize how toxic this relationship was.
Super abusive. Run away. Good on getting plan B. You do not want to be tied to this guy by a baby.
He's not going to take legal action; that's just a bluff. In the extremely unlikely event that he does, he'll be laughed out of court (but do get a lawyer and respond to the suit; don't ignore it.)
A little concerning: do you not have your own money? You need to look for a job asap so that you'll never be dependent on a man like this again.
It is a big deal. You’re allowed to make a big deal. What he did is shitty
He doesn’t care about you. How in the hell do you get the conclusion “I think he’s the one” no he is not. Also why don’t you buy a car? You can also Uber. Don’t rely heavily onto people
So what advice are you looking for
Please listen to this person OP, this is solid fucking advice and I'm sincerely worried for you. Get out of there or at the very least call the police if he touches you.
He hasn’t stated any type of being taking advantage of by the breadwinner. In fact, his response to all implying it, is to tell them they are incorrect. The age gap doesn’t automatically mean he is being finically abused, and OP has said he absolutely isn’t. He has also stated that his partner has not demanded he not work, but suggested waiting one more year due to first school year jitters. It’s weird to me that people desperately need abuse to be occurring, even when OP has insisted this isn’t even remotely the case.
Would you be open to going together? Or is she trying to go alone? Maybe, given the things you've said, she wants to go do something fun like you would have done when you first got together.
Birth control aren’t just pills. And it’s my body thank u.
I think he is trying to be lighthearted
it must be hard for him too
Thanks for clarifying lol
No, don't look at it as time invested or wasted or anything like that. Look at it as being an experience on your journey through life. So you spent that time, now move onto something new. That's the point of finding a life partner for your journey. You might meet someone early on that you choose to travel with, or later. There's no right time, there's no time invested, there's no too late. Just move on.
If you guys have had communication issues for a whole year before even being an actual couple then you two are just simply not compatible.
Should I try to hear him out or end it?
End it. Your entire relationship is founded on a lie, you'll almost certainly never trust this guy. This isn't even the first time he cheated on his wife.
Date someone who likes and respects you.
It is really strange to me that Amy doesn't want to holiday with Beth. I am bothered by it and not sure if I'll confront her on it or not. Honestly I hate conflict and this has been hard enough already. I'm not sure if I'll ask her why she said no…
Yes
I do put him in timeout and he increases his attacks.
Maybe he doesn't want to have numbers just yet. It's easier to ignore someone on social media if things go south than on telephone.
No, he's looking advice on what to do now. You see in black and white. You also seem to lack the ability to think.
What happens when someone else comes along?
She will ditch you again.
Don't fall into this trap.
Did you tell her all of this before you moved? Or was this a surprise?
I was just commenting on what OP put in the title of their post. I think it’s ridiculous to think that way.
You didn't make any mistake, you dated someone that's only related to you in name and just barely at that. There's nothing morally or legally wrong here. Your family is sick and abusive.
He could be developing feelings for you and is pulling back or he could’ve met someone else and wants to pursue them. Tons of reasons he may want to end that part of the friendship. Best bet is to just ask.
Sir, this r/relationship_advice
So of course it isn't
100% reddit bait
She described to me the same falling apart, but honestly I didn't notice much beyond being sort of stressed out. And we are very close and with each other constantly. She described not sleeping and wishing she would die when a lump was found in her breast.
Trouble is, this could also be how you feel deceiving your husband and family daily.
“You seem to be under the mistaken impression that because I was willing to catch up with you after all these years that we're back together. We are not.”
At least that's what you should say. It has been 5 years. Neither one of you are the same as you were back then. You don't just pick up where you left off. She sounds nuts.
I don’t want to resort to breaking up just to save my money.
You don't have to break up. All you have to do is tell her SHE WILL HAVE TO PAY, because you aren't an ATM. And mean it. Either she will finally get it and a) stop asking or b) pay. Alternately, she will prove that she just wants you to be her ATM and will leave you. Either way, you can go back to being fiscally responsible (good for you).
OP, he doesn’t appreciate you or your body, he constantly makes you feel inferior, he told you he has a thing for children…probably why he doesn’t want you to change your body. This guy is gross and I can’t understand why you’d stay anywhere near him.
Get a temporary restraining order. You likely have enough already with the police report for a judge to grant one. it gives you more options in the future and lets her know you're not fucking around.
Don't pull any punches with someone acting this deranged.
That “entertaining” thing would be if she gave her number and then block him at some point after some conversations. What she's doing is way better for her safety
You need to help me understand this because it’s unclear. For context, I’m an accountant and a homeowner so the specifics around how the numbers work aren’t going above my head.
What I’m struggling to understand is the situation if you were both to keep your properties. If all else remains the same, if their value on paper goes down, it doesn’t affect you if you don’t sell, of course depending on the nature of your mortgages. Assuming a fixed rate and payment, being “underwater” shouldn’t matter unless you sell.
My question asked how you’ve afforded your homes individually this whole time. You said you’re both struggling to maintain on your own. So I go back to how you were paying these mortgages before you even met?
It doesn't matter if your dad believes you. Just break up, and if your dad asks why, tell him you're unhappy. That's it. You don't have to explain it.
From your comments, it sounds like you won't press charges. Fine. But you need to get out of that situation ASAP.
Stop covering her half of the bills.
it not out the blue!! do it!!! just ask her out. you don’t need to do anything special unless you want to but like do it!!! she clearly like you!
Woman, run away and call the cops to document this incident.
That's a risk you have to take.
If you both don't share the same values It's not likely to work.
For instance, would you want her to pressure you into have sex? Would you then pressure her into having a sexless relationship if it's not what she wants?
It's better for the relationship to end because of incompatibilities than trying to push one or the other into something they don't want.
Finally, there is the chance that she'll respect it, your choices and be on on the same page as you.
You'll only know once you have the tough talks.
You are. You’re insecure and controlling. She should be allowed to talk to and hang out with men.
Why are you with him? You know he counts you as a woman right? He hates you.
She cheated and she’s a lesbian. Happy birthday!
the only way i can enforce them is by telling him about the boundary… which i did… and he chose to cross it… how is that controlling? that’s like saying if someone isn’t into an open relationship and they told their partner that and their partner went out and hooked up with someone. they crossed that boundary and that’s not controlling their actions by being upset they crossed it. if i had control over his actions he wouldn’t have been able to do it. so essentially you’re saying i should enforce my boundary after already enforcing it but not by expressing my feelings on it no no no can’t do that i have to enforce it telepathically because apparently being upset and expressing that is controlling and not enforcing it. huh… interesting approach i’ll check that out. thanks!
You can name call me all you want to, but I am laughing my ass off at this.
You got what you deserved. He left your ass, because you proved you can't be faithful. He saw you for the cheating pos you are, and got the fuck out of dodge while he could without all your drama.
You reap what you sow.
Stop asking for help, there is nothing anyone can tell you to do that would make any of this ok and better. And honestly no one who was even a half decent human would offer you advice on finding him or getting him back.
He mentioned he was planning to buy it for himself after his first tax season. It sounds like he did NOT mention why it was so significant or important that he buy it himself.
She may have just assumed he didn't have the free cash right now which is why he was waiting, so she decided to surprise him with something he really wanted, earlier than expected, as an anniversary gift.
My partner did something similar for me years ago and surprised me with a nice pair of Bose headphones I had been eyeing up but never bought due to the price tag. It was very thoughtful of her.
FinalSale, if most of those 18 BPD warning signs sound familiar, I suggest that — while you're looking for a psychologist who can give you a professional opinion — you take a look at the r/BPDlovedones sub. There you will find hundreds of members sharing their experiences of living with — or walking away from — their BPD partners.
In the right-hand column of that sub, you also will find a list of good books and links pointing to live! resources. Moreover, Reddit's biggest BPD resource targeted to the abused partners is the r/BPDWiki.
He's porking her. Install cameras now
And that’s not normal so sorry your relationships have been based on your money but it’s actually not the normal thing anymore. I don’t disagree about woman influencing spending, they’re the ones marketers are aiming towards and still the ones doing household shopping. However recent trends are the wives earning more income than the husbands, yet it’s still the women deciding the spending so what does that say? Women can adjust to new roles but men are stuck doing nothing more to contribute to their family than income?
A relationship means you are exclusive. I think you need to break up with the long distance girl and just take it slow with the new one.
Ngl kinda sounds like you’re leading the LDR girl on- saying your exclusive but not sounds like your language and she’s probably not aware that you’re seeing other people
I am a smoker, I have tried to quit multiple times unsuccessfully. I as a smoker choose to smoke every day. You have the right to choose not to be with someone who smokes. I would not be with a smoker if I was not one myself. It affects every part of your life. Hopefully my next quit attempt will be successful.
You're moving in 2 people. The one you're having a relationship with (The one you're sleeping with) is uncomfortable with your outfit.
Sure, it is your 'house,' but now that you invited them to stay in it, it is THEIRs too in a sense. Don't you want the members of your household to be happy also?
My advice is learn to compromise. Maybe no boxer (Idk how shorts your pants are thou, lol) –which is a type of underwear and just normal short pants, most generic shorts that I've seen are pretty innocent, imo. That's jmo.
Idk how hard it is there, perhaps, try to have…uh…a wifebeater style tee instead of topless? But if it is that nude, perhaps just have AC installed?
Also, the move you pulled…let me be honest with you, if I were a teenager, getting approached the person whose house you just move into and being interrogated like your gf's kid, of course I'm going to just agree with whatever. She may be 'afraid' to speak up.
So I'd say, find a compromise or common ground man. If you don't want to work with your gf's concern and don't care about what she wants, then DO NOT move her in. Or find a gf who would be cool with whatever, y'know.
Me too
Don’t lend him ANY more money.
Set up a schedule of how much he’s going to pay you back out of each pay check. $50 per week? $100 per month. Make the money due on the same day he gets paid so that there’s guaranteed to be enough in his bank account. Come to an agreement on something that’s reasonable. You could have him write the checks now and post-date them to whatever days the payments are due so that you can deposit them on those days. Or have him send you the money on that day via whatever app you guys use.
If he’s not paying for half the rent/groceries/dog/etc. that needs to change right away. He can write you a check at the beginning of each month to cover half the expenses. If he can’t do this, but he has money for weed, then you should move out and let him handle his own living expenses from now on.
Okay, then break up. He’s already raising three kids that he pays $100 a week per towards (which maybe is a bit much? $300 a month is more regular I think?); he’s past that point in his life. You want kids, you haven’t had any yet. There’s nothing more to say about this unless you want to unhealthily pressure your partner into having a child he doesn’t want. If he’s a decent father, his children are always going to come first.
The relationship is working out for me. That is literally all that you need to say.
Well, I wasn't going to go through the whole set of emotions I would likely feel in a quick reddit reply lmao
He had tried to take my issues upon himself too, even though I really didn’t want him to. Like he now makes it incredibly obvious he’s not looking at other women and I’ve told him while I appreciate the gesture, I really would never ask him to do anything like that, and made it really clear my insecurity has everything to do with me and my issues. He ignored that and continues to really exaggerate looking away from attractive women, which almost makes me feel worse
Oftentimes when a couple is having trouble getting pregnant, people think the issue lies with the woman, when it could very well be the male who is infertile.
Probably should have had your husband tested sooner, but at this point, the relationship is done, sad to say.
I think it's clear you establish boundaries that you want to work and don't want to be a SAHM. If he wants a housewife then it's clear you're not the one for him.
She was sending me memes, I responded with “Maybe you could show interest calling me as much as you do sending memes” and she followed by “I’m not home now”.
I am tired of trying to initiate some recovery.
This. Use your doctor as the excuse. You're the priority here.
Yep follow this step, blocking at this point is weird. Block her if she harras you after this message
Alright ??♀️ I’m not about to declare what people can and can’t do. But judging from personal experience and that of my friends/family, there is no cure, only management, which isn’t always gonna be perfect. And that’s okay… a lot more to a person, and the journey brings a lot of insight.
I hate him. Kick him to the curb
He calls you sensitive but the man is really just unloveable ?
I guess all women dont do such things then, who knew whole genders don't all do the same thing..now you just have to get over having your ex in the back of your mind.
You wrote in your post that she isn’t classical beautiful— which is fine- but plenty of women could read this and interpret this as ‘omg, he doesn’t think I am beautiful’. You are shy, she didn’t really get you and now she does. That’s ok. When I met my husband, I was a little meh, but he really grew on me. It’s been 18 yrs. Weigh her response then with her behavior the last 7 yrs. It’s similar to worrying about the wedding and not about the marriage.
It seems like some people can be a good friend in easy times but not so much in harder times. It's disappointing but also important to know.
Obviously something bad happened. I’m really sorry.
Based on what you have written, she was assaulted most likely. It may be hard to get the truth because she might not remember it at all.
Her friend is either covering up or just does not know about it.
I would suggest pointing out to her carefully and gently that those bruises and scratches had to have come from somewhere and asking her if she has any idea where from.
Really sorry again. This is not a good situation for either of you.
Thankyou!!
Tysm!
Her friends and their shenanigans are going to end your relationship.
I’m up at 4am for European markets and American premarket open and it’s impossible for me to be with someone who isn’t a morning person
Two people can love each other but sometimes the extenuating circumstances of your lifestyles make it a bad match?♂️
Same could be said for anyone that has any kind of relationship with them. It's a shame, but that's a fact of life. Do you suggest legal intervention?
Those are pretty big things, OP. Any one of them seems like you could work it individually, and if they’re all low level concerns maybe it’s fine, but solving all of them if they’re all serious seems very hard.
Questions: do you resolve conflict well? Do you make some friends you both like or find interesting and who share your values? Do you share values around money? Do you still like each other?
Those are other qs to ask yourself. I do know successful happy couples that have some of all these issues and are happy fwiw. One couple I’m thinking of, they laugh together, are best friends and cheerleaders for each other, and have mostly the same friends. They have kids and pets they enjoy taking care of together. One spouse is more career oriented and one is more domestic for now.
1) They have relatives on both sides they have to have boundaries around, but one spouse is better at keeping the boundaries. They have family on one side they like better. For the messy family, the other spouse learned to be better at boundaries with therapy, but it took her having kids in her 30s to find her backbone.
2) I’d guess for 2, they’re both very accepting but one spouse is a bit harder on people.
3) One spouse is much more intellectually and physically active. One is more active in the community. The less physically active one goes through periods where she gets fit but fitness is not a shared hobby.
For 4) they learned to have more separate friends over time and to deal with jealousy better. The more jealous spouse will always deal with anxiety though.
They really are quite happy from what I can tell. If you choose this, it could be a solid/good life. There might be better. Of course there’s always worse. If you want kids soon, maybe this is the life you want to choose.
However, you’re asking wise questions and only you can make the choice. You are both relatively young though and just settling into your adult selves.
I think you shouldn’t ask her to move for you unless you’re not committed to a possibility of a future with you. And maybe a therapist or trusted elder in your community can help you sort through whether you want to explore the next step with her or break up.