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♥ Angeline ♥, 99 y.o.
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Date: November 6, 2022
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How is 6years too young for a child to have their own room? Most kids have separate rooms much younger than that so sharing beds isn't just a reality.
she’s divorced bc of her abusive alcoholic ex husband. she’s dealt w her own trauma & never healed from it now enforces it on me. she would never get therapy now.
we are an indian family, she’s not strictly religious but has many cultural values.
I would say no because as you said it'll just end up being a party for the both of them since it's both their birthdays. You think their friend group won't celebrate that? Some things need to be separate especially since it was a fairly recent breakup. They should celebrate separately
I recently saw a tik tok about a girl who got gifted a dress by her bf and he basically spent the video telling her how to dress. Turns out it was so she could look exactly like this ig model he follows. She was fighting for her life saying he just wanted to make her look pretty. It’s amazing how men just believe they can tell women what to do, but it’s sad when the women decides to listen despite all the warning flags around her.
There’s a reason he’s trying to control her and he’s obviously doing it to hold power due to their age. I hope OP takes the advice here and leaves.
I’d cut your losses personally, it’s only been a month and I sure as hell know I wouldn’t want to get dragged into that kind of rodeo.
Fortunately you are safe, so if he did run with that thought first once he verified your safety he would still run into the same issue of you going home with a guy and ignoring his calls for a couple hours
First off, was it bacon, was it crisp or lightly seared?
Oh no. Put your foot down or up his ass. He wants a cook he can pay one. I work from home. If my husband said well you're going to do all this because I work outside the house there would be a fight for days.
His love language. Tell him your love language is having an equal not a mama's boy. He doesn't get to just walk in and be waited on like royalty. If you ever want kids with this layabout you better make it clear parenting is not a part-time job either.
He's exactly what you know he is; abusive. He's continuing to try to destroy your self esteem. You felt like shit after the call. That's exactly what he was hoping for.
So here's the encouragement. First, he's insecure and he tears you down because he's afraid to lose you. Why? Because you're too good for him. You deserve better than someone who treats you like absolute garbage.
When you're in a healthy relationship, your partner won't have to tell you that you need them. They'll just be decent human beings and you'll want to be with them without having to be told what you should want. Run.
This definitely sounds like codependency – it's hot. I used to have very codependent relationships with my family. The book “Codependent No More” is kind of a classic, and while not perfect, and I don't connect at all with the religious/12-step-y parts, the no-nonsense tone really helped me. Reading the book ONCE allowed me to make some major changes in how I relate to my family and not only am I happier, I have the most healthy, rewarding relationships that I've had with them in my entire life. Highly recommend.
Yeah… he acted way out of order. Maybe breaking up is the best for me… Thanks for the advice.
Don’t introduce people to your child this quickly
This should be the biggest takeaway.
Pre-nups aren't bad. They can be beneficial to both people. Just get your own attorney (don't use hers or the same company as her attorney).
What she fails to realize is that inheritance is not considered community property so if the 2 of you were to divorce, you wouldn't be entitled to any of it (there are provisions of course that would nullify this but your attorney can explain it). Your challenge (actually your attorney's challenge) will come in if the 2 of you buy a house together for example. If she uses a portion of her inheritance for a down payment, is she going to make you go and change the pre-nup to say the house is hers? There are a lot of nuances.
There is definitely more to this story.
Well, he doesn’t care. I know you probably desperately want this to work out and for him to change, but really? This? On your bday?
You should not lower ypur expectations because he’s an ass who can’t even put the bar on the lowest. Everything you did for him is something he should be eager doing for you. Don’t waste your time, please. There are so many good people out there, don’t waste your energy on this.
Dump him. This is super childish behavior, and 37 is too old to be playing those games
It’s so much worse than I’m even leading on here. He also has a child who decided to live with us full time this year so I take care of 4 children, essentially on my own. I also work full time still. Pay for half the bills and like all the groceries and food necessities while he decided to get a car that cost him 1500 a month. Then if I ask him to contribute he gets flustered and the first thing he says is no more eating out, no dates, no more spending money (on me – he really doesn’t anyway, hasn’t taken me out in weeks not even my birthday last month). I am drained and honestly reading these comments has really made me feel better. I felt like crap writing this post. I am actually feeling way less stressed now
Your GF knows you only divorced because your ex wife cheated on you with your best friend and now you are friends with her after she did this to you. You need to prioritize your GF over your ex wife. Would you be ok if your GF was still involved emotionally with her ex? Yes you have a child together but that should be the extent of your commitment to ex. You are being disrespectful to your GF
You know what you are doing, hopefully your wise up and make the right choice going forward