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♛ ???? ♛, 25 y.o.
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Date: November 1, 2022
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This is a bit of a stretch.. and is certainly is not the case considering he is fine with waiting to have sex with me and he’s more than supportive and a cheerleader for me in every other area (career, family, mental health, etc.). I think there is a difference between maintaining friendships and crossing boundaries within those friendships that might make your partner uncomfortable.
A 30 year old man who’s never dated before… that’s not concerning at all
And all my husband gets me is lingerie ? your a good husband
If OP can find them, maybe he should talk to a couple of her exes. Some people are around 30 and single because they invested younger years in a person that abandoned them, others are there because they were doing the betrayals. OP should try to find out which one she is. She could be dealing with past trauma in the wrong way, but she also could be a faithless person that OP would be well advised to avoid getting in deeper with.
As a man I would tell her the truth, same as the BF. Or would you rather know he is lying to you about these insignificant thing? You will always wonder… “What else is he lying about” ?
If you are wondering why it is insignificant? He obviously choose her for other things than looks. That makes his choice the deep one, for long term… Like a flower, looks will go away, other qualities like good character are more important.
Or do you want your looks to the main attraction for a man knowing it will fade? If that is his character, he will soon have a wandering eye with your fading beauty…
Agree with all of this, also, I can easily imagine giving a numb, checked-out “go for it” with the obvious unspoken understanding that it would be near sociopathic to even consider still wanting to go for it after seeing how much the idea devastated OP!
Get your head out of the sand and wake up. This is absolutely a terrible relationship.
ok well feel free to waste more of your time until he dies.
That, my friend, is a special sort of crazy and should be avoided. Think of it as a lucky break. Be sad for a bit, but MOVE ON!
Get over yourself, OP.
No one is forcing you to do ANYTHING. Pull your fucking head out of your ass and either continue seeing this girl you like or see your EX. If keeping contact with your ex is SO important because it involves a fucking dog, your priorities are out of wack.
You don’t deserve the new girl. You’re vilifying her and taking zero accountability.
So keep playing stupid games, you’ll win stupid prizes.
“Every time I want something for myself, like concert tickets, it’s “his” money I’m spending (we share a joint bank account). But whenever he wants something, whether it be from my paycheck or his, it’s “our” money. I just don’t know what to do. He is making me feel worthless. Not to mention I do 90% of house hold chores- because he doesn’t consider my studying work, and I therefore need to make up for it by doing all of the chores.”
Get your own account each.
Pay your paycheck into your private account.
Transfer an amount being your fair share of houshold money into a third common account- being neither his private nor yours.
Pay household bills out of that one.
Pay off your debt from your own money. Now. Not “once you finished med school.” You are not there yet.
I understand he couldn't know this while making the decision,
It depends. When I was in labor, I didn't mind that my husband left to get food. My dad was there to keep me company and I encouraged my husband to not starve himself (he was NOT allowed to eat in the room per my rules). I did tell him to get something quick, just in case.
He was gone longer than I thought he would be, but that's normal for him. I had an epidural and wasn't in pain, but I definitely felt something shift in labor, so I called him to tell him he needed to get back as quickly as possible. He did and as soon as he was back, I told him to get the nurse to check me out. It was time to push, so my dad left as planned.
He didn't understand until we talked about it later that I knew I was ready to start pushing when I called him. In any case, he came running because he's not a selfish asshole. Pushing took 2 hours, so he technically didn't have to get back as quickly as he did, but I'd have been pissed off if he'd dawdled.
Just fyi that you might know already, but the hormonal IUD can basically stop all bleeding. I still get PMDD and occasional cramps but that’s it. I have the Skyla which has the lowest hormones of all IUDs available.