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Date: October 28, 2022
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Bruh I have threesome fantasies and that’s all it is. A fantasy. I agreed to be in a monogamous relationship with my spouse and I am going to respect that. I’ve brought it up, sure, but they weren’t up for it and that was the end of it.
If it makes you feel better, lab puppies are more difficult than most infants.
Yeah six years married, sex everyday, working, and apparently her too? A very rare occurrence lol
It sounds abusive.
I don't see arguments backing your claim, and neither are you an established authority on the subject, so why do you present what is your opinion as very hot facts?
Sex is different for different people. People bond in different ways. You do you, but let others do themselves.
Ah man telling a woman to calm down usually isn’t a good idea. It is possible that she is more irritable due to lack of sleep and stress from caring for a baby. And the baby is 2 weeks old. She could have post partum depression. Have you told her you are sorry or asked her when she is coming home? Have you told her how you would feel if this went on for weeks?
Exactly! Like if its every once in a while its sexy in bed but doing it all the time or at inappropriate times it gets annoying
I was going to say don’t punish the child for his dads fuck ups, but this is punishment for your daughter 🙁 poor kiddo. This is a very hot choice for you and I stand by it. Maybe even don’t go or ban him until his moral improves.
I think, you're being reasonable at the moment. However, when the kid gets older and starts understanding more, maybe consider directing your anger solely at your brother and the woman he had an affair with instead of the kid. It's not his fault his parents are dicks, and you are still his aunt.
The best advice I was ever given is don't leave someone you love for someone you like. This guy has mapped out a life with you and this guy is just a detour that will put you in a worst situation. You need to talk to your partner tell him you NEED him to make you feel sexy and desired, once he is making steps see if things are clicking. But you need to go NC with this guy and if he approaches you tell him you feel like you're crossing a line as you have a boyfriend and don't allow him to reply, because this guy is going to waste your long term relationship quick..
As a man I completely understand this guy and have already made a promise to myself the I will paternity test each and every child. This promise is unbreakable and has nothing to do with my partner.
This is my take. You know without a shadow of a doubt you are the mother. The only thing he seeks is the same reassurance. Unfortunately for society as a whole, about 1:20 children and father's are the victims of paternity fraud. The pathetic excuses for human beings that do this, have ruined it for everyone else.
In my opinion it should just be made mandatory at birth, would solve a lot of societies problems, but this is the next best thing. Understand that it has very little to do with you, and more the state of modern society as a whole.
Break up. What are you expecting us to say
It's understandable that you feel helpless in this situation, especially since you're unable to physically be with your boyfriend to offer him support. Here are a few things you can do to try to help him cope with his dad's illness:
Listen and be there for him: It's important to be a supportive and understanding presence for your boyfriend as he goes through this difficult time. When he wants to talk about his feelings, make sure to listen and validate his emotions.
Encourage him to seek professional help: It's common for people to experience intense emotions when a loved one is terminally ill, and it can be helpful to have a trained professional to talk to. Encourage your boyfriend to consider seeing a therapist or counselor to help him work through his emotions.
Suggest healthy coping mechanisms: Help your boyfriend find healthy ways to cope with his dad's illness, such as engaging in physical activity or practicing relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing.
Be patient: Remember that it's a difficult and emotional time for your boyfriend, and he may not always be able to control his reactions or emotions. Be patient with him and try to be understanding of his behavior.
Offer practical support: If there are ways that you can offer practical support to your boyfriend, such as helping him with errands or tasks related to his dad's illness, let him know that you are willing to help.
It's also important to take care of yourself during this time. Make sure to prioritize your own well-being and seek support if you need it.
no it doesnt. it actually suggests that they dont respect his gender or him at all.
Don’t start a relationship with mistrust. She says she’s not into him, so who cares what he thinks?
There you go. Maybe escalating to counseling is a waste of time.
Keep that secret….. You tell him it will blow up the relationship and cause him a lot of pain, and your only reason to let it out now is so you can get it off your chest. NOPE. You carry that Burden that you created. Leave you BF in peace….
Easy way to drop a lot of weight: drop the AH husband.
FFS, you weren't even dangerously overweight. He's a major jerk.
“I still have work to do in other areas, such as self esteem and self worth so there is still a way to go.” Gee, I wonder why.
Honestly romantically our life is like a movie. I work , she's a stay at home mum (by choice, we can well afford childcare but she wants to be at home). She does the main housework, I come home I cook our dinner, I do bath and bed with the child and she cleans up after dinner. We're both very content with our love life.
We go on dates, I bring her flowers and chocolates spontaneously. We kiss hug cuddle all the time, hold hands in public and just in general have a really healthy romantic love life.
But the lack of physical intimacy is a major issue and it's ruining all the other great things we have.
Then you need to force the conversation in a place she cant run away from it. The car maybe.
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And 12lbs over 8 months isn't drastic weight gain. Bf is an ass.
Thanks for the update & info. Another question: does your husband talk about feelings? Does he tend to sweep issues under the rug with you? The reason I ask is that your husbands failure to stand up for you and being somewhat fearful of his father, has its roots somewhere. Most certainly in childhood, most likely before he was 4 years old, but almost definitely by 11 years old. This trait is a nervous system response. Based on the extremely limited info, there’s a good chance it was caused by Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).
CEN is where he may have been able to talk to his parents about most things, except anything to do with “feelings”. The easiest way to explain emotional neglect is…. Suppose a child got bullied at school. When they come home and it’s not safe to talk about “feelings”, they will have to process their “feelings” on their own. This is emotional neglect. They may lock themselves in their room and try to process these complex feelings that they don’t know how to process. This leads on to developing self-reliance and in adulthood and will feel that they have to do everything by themselves. CEN is a broad subject, but something is preventing him standing up for himself.
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None of these sound particularly like red flags. You're supposed to take birth control at the same time every day, for maximum effectiveness. I think it's sweet that she wanted to keep you company for your long drives. And the love song was just her flirting with you.
If you don't like talking to her on the phone that much, tell her, and schedule less phone calls. Or if you feel like she's coming on too strong or taking things too fast, tell her to slow it down. It sounds like she just really likes you. Go on the second date, and if it's too intense, you can tell her it's not going to work out. I think maybe you're just a little afraid, because you just got out of your only relationship, so you're not sure what to do. You might not be ready to date yet, and might still need some time for yourself.
Your mother is 58, when her brothers were 15, Moses was guiding people through split water. Jones aside, not owning up to being negligent and having total disregard for children (let alone gets) is enough to be cold. Everything else is the icing on the cake. She doesn't even want to hear you out, shutting you down and flipping it on you? That just further proves she doesn't respect you, not before and not now.
The world is full of very rude people, I haven't got advice and all got is insults, and now feel like fucking idiot, I am in bed crying, call me a baby, I don't care, I haven't got a caring comment from anybody, I think if said I was suicidal you would all say go on kill yourself…
Pls. The chronically live ppl here don’t represent society. You all need to go out and touch some grass.
But what would you expect from redditors who even attack ppl for not dating prostitutes.
I dated someone like this. His friends and family thought so high of him, but he was horrible to me and to his kids. He was white and had a friend from high school who is black and his entire family sat around calling her his “n word” best friend ALL THE TIME.
When I ended things, I told his best friend. I didn’t even know her, but I knew I wasn’t going to let her be spoken about like that by someone she thought she could trust. Sometimes, you do have to give people bad news like this about people. And it really does suck and can backfire.
But I will say, a lot of people don’t see these sides of people because they aren’t in a relationship with them. The guy I dated was such a charismatic guy and his male friends said they couldn’t see him doing that to me. Even when I had a giant burn on my arm, they said he couldn’t have done it because he wasn’t that way with them. So, you could tell her and she may not believe you. But you could also prevent her from setting anyone else up with him.
It’s potentially going to suck, but telling your friend what happened for real and being honest is the best way to recover. Finding my own support system of people who truly believe me and love me really helped me get out of the depression and anxiety his abuse caused me. I truly hope the same for you.
“I have been trying to convince her that I am not making her cry, its just that she doesn't handle stress very well” – don't do that!
Try couple therapy and go from there!
Sadly our disagreements usually consist of her trying to change my mind and not actually listening. This situation is a prime example of that. My husband’s feelings are one of my most major concerns with this, since I know he values having space as well.
When someone blocks you, the right response is leave them alone.
Not worth it. It will get worse. Believe me I know.
Not an exception, in all my dating experiences men have been very responsive and want to text. Again, you’re not the speaker for all men. Stop making baseless generalizations.
At a minimum he's bisexual
Well I don't know wether its wise or not, but for me it's always been about my partner returning my energy and like yourself, knowing that i could never, under any circumstances, including wine, ever kiss someone else, I would also feel hugely betrayed by this.
It's not the kiss, for me it would be the knowledge that in the same situation I I couldn't ever be tempted to do the same. It's the lack of thought – the momentary lapse in judgement compared to decades of me never letting my guard down. Just not allowing that sort of situation to arise. Pre-empting situations like that and heading them off at the pass because invalue my partner so very much that I guard them even when they are not there.
For my part I think you should be true to yourself. Take your own time, do it your way, make your decision based on what you were giving and what you needed in return for that. Dont be brow beaten into adopting anyone else's view or position on this because ultimately you need to be at peace with your one head and heart, not theirs.
Some people could see past it, could talk through it in terms of 'mistakes' and learning. I couldn't. I dont know if that makes me lesser, what I do know is I can live with it.
Hey OP! If you call your insurance they can tell you if they have a specific app/website that they run their telehealth visits on (if they do that) and you should be able to find therapists that work with your insurance on there!
Grap that strapon
Honestly, if it was any other guy I would agree, but it was his brother. Someone she will have a lot of platonic contact with…. And he was feeling third wheely and bad.
If she knew the brother had a crush, that would be an issue.
If she didn't, I would see it as just her trying to be a good friend to her boyfriends family.
She's quitting because her grandfather has had problems with alcohol older than time itself, look at his post history about 10-11 months ago
I’m all for Just Because gifts, but that excuse she gave of slowly giving you your birthday gifts is 100% bullshit. Also since it’s the thought that counts and she didn’t put any in (like setting aside some time since she knew you were having a birthday since your last birthday) is also very thoughtless. She sounds like a jerk with very high expectations.
Agree to open your relationship and open it so much he falls out
Honestly don’t see anything wrong with his behavior. He sounds like he knows what he likes and enjoys life. I think your attitude about this is the only real issue here.
And because teenagers wouldn't know better to pick up all the red flags he's putting down.
Congrats, OP. It only took you 7 years to outgrow somebody who is 17 years your senior. Guaranteed that, after you wise up and move on, his next girlfriend will also be too young to know better than to put up with his nonsense. It wasn't a coincidence that he started dating you- it was calculated.
Just to be very clear, you don't GIVE someone a boundary – you set one up for yourself and take action if it is pushed. Boundaries are for you. They tell you what you'll do if people don't treat you well.
So what is your actual boundary? Your husband isn't treating you well, so what are you going to do about it??
Why do you think that story is true? Talk to your mom. If it is a true story, it was heartless for your parents to agree to abandon the child.
this is not good or healthy you need to be your own complete person outside of your relationship
why the hell most of you people grossly neglect that the boyfriend wanted to crack the owner’s laptop? wtf with this nonsense about valuing his own privacy?
This is just a bad habit to get into, especially if he doesn't “look black”. It's likely to get him into serious trouble someday. You're not wrong to be concerned (and even most non “very left wing” people would agree with that).
Great advice
You wanted a baby? This sounds like fate guiding you in the right direction away from your husband. Maybe it’s not officially cheating but choosing t sleep with you friend so soon after separating says he wanted the marriage over and frankly sounds like the best thing for you. Your family will come around. Congratulations I am so happy for you!!!
Just ask him to take a photo the next time she is in or ask him to text you when they come in next so you can catch her in the act.
I’m also in the wife’s situation, mentally stable though with the occasional sadness from being disabled. My situation got worse after giving birth though since I was wrongly diagnosed and we now have a daughter with a 50/50 chance to get it. We did however already knew that a lot of the caretaking would land on my husbands plate. We made this conscience decision.
Taking care of my daughter has been harder than anything else in my life in terms of psychical impact. Together with an ergo therapist we’ve put my energy levels into numbers. My daily energy: 16, working 8 hours: 34, taking care of my daughter: 42. And this was when she was already sleeping through the night. Add no sleep into the mix and you will be burned out in no time.
My husband is caring, understanding and willing to do everything for our family. And even he has times that he’s clearly giving me every signal of caregivers fatigue.
I don’t really have any advice, it’s just a sad situation overall and in all honesty hope my husband doesn’t post similar things somewhere.
Have some self respect. Move on
Break up, obviously. This liar was going to bring you to the altar having never told you he is a cheater.
Does he have a history of being insecure or accusing you of cheating? My bet is that you're not moaning in your sleep, and that your boyfriend is making it up so that he can try to make you slip up and “admit” to cheating.
And she’s entitled to that decision and it’s not a small decision, in actuality agree with her, I wouldn’t move country for a relationship irrespective what logic you want to apply to it, it doesn’t matter, she’s entitled to “just not want to because it’s a huge step” and I can see the logic. Put that out of your mind as she’s given her reasoning, if you can’t move there as of now, move when you can which is why I said come up with a date of x…or this is just going to fail if there’s no closing the distance
Please don’t be in the house alone with him.
Please don’t be in the house alone with him.
It sure sounds like she’s in active addiction and hiding it as much as she can because that’s what active addicts do. Talk to her, sure, but she’s trending more and more volatile. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.
Where do these people come from? Do they not have any social awareness? Did he have a head injury? What an absolute ass.
Personally, the damage is done and there would be no amount of coming back from this. But he is younger and presumably a doofus, so if he is otherwise okay, let him play the apology out and see how meaningful it is.
If you suspect this is purposeful negging, then you have a completely different problem.
Don’t it will destroy a family. Pick somebody else out of 7 billion people. I’m sure you can find one. Cheating doesn’t hurt just peoples feelings it destroys people. Read some of these poster horrible. Some women thought it was really cute to flirt and say, I mean think about her husband and he canceled her. I got attorneys took her child. She’s mentally unstable now and kicked out with no money. Be careful what you do. It will come back on your somehow.
I didn’t realize that it had only been a week
Idk your sister, but it sounds to me like she's maybe jealous that they had your GF go in her place and now she's trying to cause problems? Maybe I've just seen too many teen dramas haha. Also, how dare she watch the Mando without you! That's an unforgivable haha. I'm happy y'all are able to talk like adults and communicate everything. And also, super happy you trusted your gut and asked your gf about it instead of just throwing all common sense out of the window like SOOOO many people do. You guys really seem to be happy and I hope that continues. You know her so well and that is important and unfortunately not very common these days.
Was it a baby?
And it's not “sad.” You get the good stuff however you do. It's not derivative – you might have met these fabulous people through your spouse, but they are YOUR people.
Either Amanda is manipulative as all hell or you've left out info. Amanda should be pissed with her mom for the lack of you in her life. She's absolutely old enough to know better. You're an idiot for not setting boundaries with her, and it's going to cost you your second marriage. I know it's your kid, but sometimes kids turn out to be shitty assholes.
Sorry just sounds like he’s being nice and doing you a favour… which people do in healthy relationships btw.
I’m perfectly capable of safely walking home from my local but my husband still comes to pick me up just because he wants to make my life easier.
This is normal behaviour.
(Unless he’s saying “I’m coming to get you now, you’d better be ready”)
I’m sorry, but I read the title and just LOL
I’m sorry, but I read the title and just LOL
who within my family my son can or cannot see
OMG, you are so dense..!
Obviously, your DIL does not want her husband cosying up to the cousin (eeewww) he used to sleep with.
What gives HER the right you ask? Your son is HER husband; he is accountable to her now, NOT YOU. And she has the right to ask for respect; she deserves it. She can set her boundaries and your son will step up IF he wants to save HIS family (emphasis on HIS, which does not include you).
You are extremely disrespectful. You will reap what you sow and then will go all pikachu-faced in surprise when you get your just desserts!
Let me tell you this as the 19 year old who was in your place: He’ll tell you what he needs to get you back. He’ll love bomb you (as he did), saying all the right things and doing all the right things. And then sloooooowly, carefully, he’ll start again. And this time he’ll be sneakier. Maybe even go for your self-esteem so you feel uncomfortable dressing the way you do.
He has already shown you what path he’s on, one where he’s possessive and jealous, and will make you feel bad about yourself, even threaten you with ultimatums, try to break you with breaking up and blocking when you don’t bend to his will, only to come crawling back. That’s who he is right now. Maybe one day maaaaaaaaaany years from now he’ll grow up, maybe he won’t. Do you really want to be around during the time he’ll be who he is right now, hoping that one day far in the future he might be a person you can be happy with?
This could have been a reality check for him, who knows. If you choose to stay with him to find out, keep your eyes wide and be prepared to be disappointed. Therapy is a good idea, and noting down any and every time your bf says or does something that rubs you the wrong way, no matter how tiny, even just an off comment or tone, even a “joke”, is a good idea so you don’t forget.
But really, you’re 19. Your life is ahead of you, and you will forever regret not letting yourself be who you are and dress how you want if you let someone else, or yourself, curb you. You should be with someone who makes you happy and excited, someone who builds you up, not someone who will make you second-guess wearing that dress you love.