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Date: October 23, 2022
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Was the box open? I realize this doesn’t even matter because he could have gone through several boxes.. just curious. Regardless, get your ducks in a row and get out of there, you deserve better than big fat lies to your face.
thank you! my friend definitely doesn’t understand how my anxiety affects me like my boyfriend does.
He's holding things against you from 10 years ago and gaslighting you about yelling. I would cut him loose. It's too little too late with no accountability on his part.
it’s going to hurt for awhile. you have to grieve the person you thought she was (but isn’t) and you’re grieving the past memories and future possibilities together
but you should let your body feel the pain – it’s natural. pain tells your body to HEAL. call a family or friend for support. go for a walk or run outdoors. do something for yourself that makes you happy, and doesn’t involve your gf. get to know yourself again, bc it’s clear you’ve lost yourself in this relationship
i notice despite all the comments telling you she’s overreacting, you still latched on to the few comments that said you should’ve communicated better. i think this is something worth reflecting on.
do you honestly think it’s normal to have to update a partner on every single little detail happening when you’re out with out them?
in the last 5 years you’ve enabled this behavior, bending to her insecurities and chasing after her when you did nothing wrong
don’t you want to exist in peace? don’t you think you deserve a partner that trusts you in i have their best interests at heart, especially a partner who has been with you for half a decade
you’re being punished for her exes behavior and i hope one day you wake up and realize that you deserve the benefit of the doubt every single time.
best of luck to u
A 36 year old woman would say “oh, that's why you're single. Buh bye.”
I'm not saying every 30 something has some terrible skeleton in their closet, mind you. Sometimes it's something else- partner cheated or wouldn't commit and had to start over, demanding or unstable early career, even just serial monogamist where things didn't work out. But there's usually a reason good people aren't set up by a certain point.
Him telling you how he feels about it isn't gaslighting you. People giving opinions isn't gaslighting either. The terms gaslighting and red flag are just thrown out there on everything aren't they.
SEVERELY.
Anything less than scorched earth here is an under reaction. Holy fucking shit.
she is for the streets
We can't read his mind, but if I had to guess he got what he wanted and moved on. Sorry this is happened to you.
So I should just break up with him?
If they already are turning on him then in my opinion he has nothing to lose. All you can do at this point is show her that the cost of bullying you is too damn high to pay.
Has he always hated women?
FIFA as in soccer?
I agree with her.
Where would he live if he wasn't with you??? If he can't afford to live! like an adult then maybe he shouldn't. He's moochign off of you and controlling you. As someone who was a codependent and had no boundaries therapy did wonders. You might want to really think about being in a relationship when you have problems wirh setting ans keeping boundaries becaue you will attract the wrong kind of people as they can see you coming from a mile away. Your considering his emotions but he's not doing the same for you. You tell him you're getting that chair as nothing ever happened on it and if he doesn't like it he knows where the exit is. That will show you how much he respects or disrespects you. If the chair doesn't bother yiu he has no right to tell you you can't have it. I'm sure if anything had happened on that chair you wouldn't have wanted it. This isn't jsut about a chair this is about control and now that you're living together his true colors are starting to show. Beware
You haven’t done anything wrong. And honestly, if your husband and the other wife were so comfortable with each other are you sure it was their first time together?
The abuse you took from the other woman was absolutely uncalled for and your husband should be defending you. You were not apprised of what they were comfortable with for ground rules and boundaries and the way your husband described it they wanted to swap partners with their spouses. This is exactly what you did. If the intent was for a different dynamic it was their responsibility to communicate it.
I did actually pay for a consult with a divorce lawyer and go with her. But the lawyer said that our state very much favors 50/50 unless you can prove physical abuse or that he’s harmful to the kids. Since he does most of his drinking after the kids are in bed, or he disappears to go drink at bars when my sister is with the kids and leaves her to put them to bed by herself, the kids don’t witness much. And it’s not like he takes care of them while drunk. And to be honest, my sister is still worried about “breaking up the family.” She’s determined to give her kids this picture perfect childhood. But she is getting closer and closer to it. I think it’s just going to take her a long time to finally get there.