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Date: October 27, 2022

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  1. Hello /u/Secure-Yam-4475,

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  2. So ask her for proof that it’s your child and proof of pregnancy if I’m being honest. She might be bitter about the break up and is trying to mess with your head. Did you always use protection?

  3. I would step back from the mental breakdown and ask yourself what kind of person brings home 4 cats to sell and then says they want to sell the kittens and then never takes car of them in any kind or caring way. I think he is mentally ill.

    If you were to re-home the cats, what would he do? I would tell him that as there have been no kittens, he does not take care of them and they are neglected, you will be finding other homes for them.

    Question: there are female and male cats and none of them are neutered? Is there even a possibility of kittens?

  4. Lmao thanks for the laugh.

    Idk why its so wrong as a fiancée vs a wife to be concerned about finances. You’d think it’s completely normal to want to know your situation before getting married.

    Sign…

  5. You’re. I’m in this exact situation. My best friend of 7 years. We’ve known each other since middle school. I did in fact love her romantically and I still love her. You know what I did? I told my girlfriend about it within the first week of dating. You know what happened? They’re besties now. You know why? Because my girlfriend trusts me. I cannot imagine nuking my friendship with her.

  6. It's a boundaries issue, not necessarily a trust issue.

    I disagree with this.

    I get it why you frame it this way. People often use ''Don't you trust me'' as some kind of gotcha response, and nobody wants to be the person who doesn't trust their partner.

    But I think that's wrong. It's okay not to trust your partner in some things. More precisely, it would be very bad if you couldn't trust your partner's intentions. But that's different from trusting their assesment of their own reactions in certain situations. Nobody should trust their own assessments of their own reactions in tempting situations.

  7. Yeah I see what you’re saying. I must say I think there are some things that you’ve assumed based on what I’ve said above, which are fair to assume as not every detail is there. So just to state simply for anyone else that may have a thought: – I love being a dad, it is what’s kept me here. I know this sounds arrogant but people who know me think I’m a good father, present, giving, fun and caring. I just wonder whether having to be here is a requirement of being the best dad I can be, considering the circumstances. – No one who knows me would consider me to be sad. This is a very internal and private choice I struggle with. – Love the advice around the pro and con list, I’m a very logical person and have done this. The on paper choice is to stay with my family, which largely influenced my decision. Those dam feelings though.

    There’s so many semantics and nuances that are hot to portray over text. I truly appreciate your thoughts though it is what I’m here for, I am grateful for the perspective.

  8. Before anything else, I want to say that what happened before you started dating seven years ago should have no bearing on your relationship today and how it goes forward. As a general rule, the first period of dating is just getting to know a person and doubts are super normal. Now, if this happened two years into your relationship, that would be. whole different story.

    While I respect her intention to be honest, I think this is one thing she probably should have kept to herself. I can’t imagine a particularly positive outcome from her admission.

  9. You don’t owe him anything. Not even the mourning of his death. Just keep to yourself and if your family says anything or asks how you are, just say fine.

  10. Maybe the glass or two of wine have her the courage to speak. Doesn’t sound like either were actually DRUNK…

  11. Sorry, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that?

    And yeah, I know it's not the best we could be, which is why I'm so eager to want to find some sort of common ground for us to be able to be able to communicate better.

  12. Reading both the original post and update, your current BF has the emotional maturity of a college frat boy. He also exhibits signs of narcissism, especially with language like “you ruined my night, why would you allow drama like that and people like this in our space”. Instinctively, a normal, emotionally matured and well adjusted person's reaction would be to ask if you're OK and help you re-compose yourself. They wouldn't use their severe jealousy as an opportunity to yell at, humiliate and trash their partners in front of guests in a social setting. You're 26 and likely looking for someone to build a potential future with. Be thankful that he showed you his colors so early on, that news about your ex was both a curse and a blessing. No sane person would react that way, a long term relationship with that would do you no good. I would also not be surprised if his emotional immaturity morphs into escalatory patterns of gaslighting and emotional abuse. I'm not one to answer every post with a “just break up”, but here the flags are blood red. I'd say run for the hills friend haha.

  13. This post is just missing “Max was really mature for his age.” You knew him for 4 months. In less than a year you were prioritizing him over the son you've known for 18 years. To be clear to you: this isn't a fairy-tale, star-crossed-lovers thing. Max knew you would be an easy lay and you took advantage of a horny high schooler.

    You're acting like your son was completely oblivious too. He definitely didn't just “find out” by accidental text either. How stupid do you think he is to not notice you AND his friend are always conveniently unavailable at the same times? How can you possibly believe that the 18 year old high schooler would keep it a secret to himself?! Max probably bragged in the high school locker rooms during gym that he was, “banging some milf!” Or on games taunting that he'd, “fuck your mom just like i'm fucking X's!” OR if your son's other friends figured it out in similar ways.

    Christ, the way you wrote this makes it seem like you think you're living in a romance novel

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