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(, っ◔◡◔)っ♥ Keyty ♥, 21 y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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So have I. I did exactly what you're doing right now. It drove me nuts and it drove people away. I almost didn't marry my (now) husband because of my trust issues. He was made to feel like a criminal for doing very normal things and I spent my time stressing out swearing that he's obviously hiding something (no one gets a spam call at night!). It was all bullshit. Sure, people do cheat but the truth has a way of coming out whether you go looking for it or not and I can promise you my life got a whole lot better when I stopped looking for it. I honestly don't think what you described means she's cheating. If you like her, don't be like me and spend the next few weeks stressing out over how to search through her phone or asking “gotcha” questions. It's a miserable existence. I wish you all the best, OP!
That's pretty rude to say to you. Is she someone that's been in alot of toxic relationships?
Get rid
I think you're being too generous in thinking he is clueless.
A 40+ year old man with a 20 year old? He is doing this on purpose. He only cares about himself and thinks that he can control a young woman to cater to his sexual needs.
I think things have run their course. Your desires are too diverse at this point to continue the relationship in a form that both of you will be happy with. The age gap may have contributed to making her feel she hasn’t fully explored her sexuality.
Once you break up her finances will be none of your business so if she needs to take “massive loans” to get through school, just focus on how much your financial support has saved her till this point. I’m assuming her school has housing or she can use one of her new loans to get an apartment share.
You have nothing to worry about she will be fine and you will be fine just not together
I hadn’t thought about the other side of the coin of that bad the possibility of being overwhelmed or not being able to objectively process or even assist how I imagine I would be. Thank you so much for bringing that to my attention ❤️ The more I receive everyone’s responses here and particular with your mention of stressors with everyday life—I feel even more inclined toward more seriously pursuing therapy of my own.
You did what was right for you by ending the relationship!
1- keep blocking his family and friends if they continue to harass you. That is immature on their part and not going to change the situation so pay no attention to it
2- those girls are not your friend. You mention knowing them for a decade, please take the time to reflect if they have truly been friends to you lately because it doesn’t seem like they have. Sometime it’s easy to keep a “best” friend because the memories even though you’re no longer treating each other best friends. Realizing who you true friends are in your 20s is normal.
3- relationships end. Your young. You don’t need to have your Prince Charming now or settle for anyone less. This was not the guy for you and that’s ok. Keep your head up! You will find better!
“Mom I love you, but if you keep trying to end my relationship with my dad I will have to reconsider my relationship with you. I understand you hate him, but that is your relationship with him, it has nothing to do with my relationship with him”.
yeah youre right. I've created these thought loops over such a long time, it's hot to stop but that's where discipline comes in I guess
I'm sorry that you went through that. Is there anything other than pushing herself outside her comfort zone that she could do to reassure you? I think that's something that you should think about before even considering raising the topic with her again. Maybe you don't need to discuss this, just say “hey I'm getting a little in my head. Can I have a hug?” Or maybe you reach out to a friend so they can kindly remind you that this gf has never lashed out and that her reticence to share isn't about you.
Overall, though, this sounds like a you problem. I don't mean to be harsh, but she is not “making” you feel anxious. I have general and social anxiety, as well as a history that involves emotional abuse. My feelings are on me to manage, not on anyone around me. You're acknowledging that but still seem to be looking for permission/strategies to elicit more from her than she's currently ready to give.
If you're not in therapy already, you should get into it. Someday your kids are probably going to stop telling you everything that's going on in their lives, no matter how much they love and trust you. It's a very normal stage of development and you need to be prepared to handle it, even if your gf starts sharing more.
She is currently the primary caregiver in the relationship and looks after children and home. Chances are extremely high she will be. How can he be the primary caregiver with his work hours and all this golf he's going to be doing.
She’s a mean girl
Find another asexual to date.
Your trust is already gone. Even if it could be proved beyond a doubt this lady's kids aren't his, you'd never trust that he didn't have a physical affair with her (or others) based on your comments.
Also (probably rightly so) you have no time for the counselors/pastor who are telling you that your accusations are false. Even if this man is telling you God's honest truth, your ability to trust him is irrevocably broken and I doubt there's anything that he could do or say which would bring that back.
Either live in constant suspicion of this man and other women, or sleep well at night having left him because you now KNOW he will never cheat on you again – because he can't cheat on you when you leave him.
I have no hate towards any one or any being, it’s just the terminology he used when he relayed the story of what I said. I apologize and didn’t mean any wrong.
In what way is he being taken advantage of?
It’s not stupid at all. You’re mourning the loss of a person you thought was a dear friend. There are so many good guys in the world (like your dad and brother). Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to grieve. Eventually you’ll be ready to open up and meet new guys that are secure in who they are and aren’t threatened by smart, strong women. Wishing you all the best, OP.
If you’re not poly an open relationship will not help.
Are you both poly that just happen to be in a monogamous relationship?
Thanks a bunch. I just also feel like I get burnt out after one activity. Like if we go for a trip in the morning to the barn, I'll be beat afterwards. Or even if I have a short work day sometimes , I get to work by 10 and come home by 1 ish I just be tired.
Maybe I should try to work something out with her where if we PLAN to hang out after a short work day.